4 ms·

Ask HN: How are people best using their mentoring sessions?

5 points by mentoring 7y ago

I've just got a new mentor and wondering if anyone has any best practice / common pitfalls to avoid when going into these sessions so that they can be as productive as possible?

bitfield 7y ago
Mentor here teaching Go and cloud native tech (https://bitfieldconsulting.com/golang https://bitfieldconsulting.com/golang) In general, I think it's worth taking a bit of time to establish exactly what it is you expect to get from mentoring, and how you and the mentor are going to work together to achieve that. For example, if you want to get and pass the interview for your dream job, that's an objective you can both work towards. Or maybe your goal is just something "feel confident writing non-trivial Go projects from scratch". You can then agree a plan of action that gets you there. Next, establish how you're going to work together. A regular meeting is probably best, whether that's in person or by remote. Find a time that works for both of you. If you're working on a real-life project, as opposed to an exercise, will both you and the mentor contribute to it individually, as well as pairing on it together? Or will the mentor just be giving you code reviews? Will the mentor give you homework, exercises, and reading to do in between sessions? If so, agree what the expectations are. Don't assume you will have any free time at all to work on this stuff—most don't! Finally, and this may seem obvious, as the mentee, this process is not always going to be easy for you. You are basically surrendering yourself to someone else (possibly a stranger) and saying "You know better than me. Please teach me." If you're an engineer, for example, that probably doesn't come naturally to you. It doesn't to me. When you find yourself feeling frustrated, as you may well do, or even angry, try to keep calm. If the mentor's advice seems to make no sense to you, ask them to explain, and keep asking until you understand it. If you understand it, but don't agree with it, don't argue; this is tiresome for both parties. Default to assuming the mentor is right and you are wrong. After all, you're here because they know more than you do. This is bound to mean that some of the things you think you know are actually wrong, isn't it?
- mentoring 7y ago
  Super helpful thanks. I've also read a lot about how mentoring should be mentee-initiated. Is there anything that I can do as a mentee that can also help the mentor be a better mentor?
  - bitfield 7y ago
    Well, speaking personally, it's very helpful if the mentee is willing to say things like "I don't understand that, please explain it in a different way." Often I think people just keep quiet, out of shyness or politeness, or not wanting to appear dumb. But the moment you've lost the thread of what's happening, you're both just wasting your time. A good mentor can pick this up, and is constantly checking to see if the mentee is really understanding, or whether they're just saying "Uh-huh". But it's a two-way process. Sometimes you will genuinely struggle to get something, and that's okay—everybody finds different things easy or difficult. If this is happening, just say "Sorry, I'm having trouble with this. Can you go through it again?" The mentor absolutely won't mind doing this. They're not here to look smart, they're here to help you learn something, and until that's happened, they haven't done their job. [If they do mind, get another mentor.]
tedyoung 7y ago
When you do have your 1:1 synchronous time (probably remote, especially these days), make sure you're organized. I work with some of my mentees to put together a standard agenda for each "meeting". Sometimes that'll be a discussion of some code, sometimes it'll be actual pairing, sometimes it'll be just chatting about a recent interview experience. Especially with respect to reviewing code, the further in advance you can provide the code to the mentor, the better.

5 points by mentoring 7y ago

I've just got a new mentor and wondering if anyone has any best practice / common pitfalls to avoid when going into these sessions so that they can be as productive as possible?

bitfield 7y ago

Mentor here teaching Go and cloud native tech (https://bitfieldconsulting.com/golang https://bitfieldconsulting.com/golang) In general, I think it's worth taking a bit of time to establish exactly what it is you expect to get from mentoring, and how you and the mentor are going to work together to achieve that. For example, if you want to get and pass the interview for your dream job, that's an objective you can both work towards. Or maybe your goal is just something "feel confident writing non-trivial Go projects from scratch". You can then agree a plan of action that gets you there. Next, establish how you're going to work together. A regular meeting is probably best, whether that's in person or by remote. Find a time that works for both of you. If you're working on a real-life project, as opposed to an exercise, will both you and the mentor contribute to it individually, as well as pairing on it together? Or will the mentor just be giving you code reviews? Will the mentor give you homework, exercises, and reading to do in between sessions? If so, agree what the expectations are. Don't assume you will have any free time at all to work on this stuff—most don't! Finally, and this may seem obvious, as the mentee, this process is not always going to be easy for you. You are basically surrendering yourself to someone else (possibly a stranger) and saying "You know better than me. Please teach me." If you're an engineer, for example, that probably doesn't come naturally to you. It doesn't to me. When you find yourself feeling frustrated, as you may well do, or even angry, try to keep calm. If the mentor's advice seems to make no sense to you, ask them to explain, and keep asking until you understand it. If you understand it, but don't agree with it, don't argue; this is tiresome for both parties. Default to assuming the mentor is right and you are wrong. After all, you're here because they know more than you do. This is bound to mean that some of the things you think you know are actually wrong, isn't it?

mentoring 7y ago
Super helpful thanks. I've also read a lot about how mentoring should be mentee-initiated. Is there anything that I can do as a mentee that can also help the mentor be a better mentor?
- bitfield 7y ago
  Well, speaking personally, it's very helpful if the mentee is willing to say things like "I don't understand that, please explain it in a different way." Often I think people just keep quiet, out of shyness or politeness, or not wanting to appear dumb. But the moment you've lost the thread of what's happening, you're both just wasting your time. A good mentor can pick this up, and is constantly checking to see if the mentee is really understanding, or whether they're just saying "Uh-huh". But it's a two-way process. Sometimes you will genuinely struggle to get something, and that's okay—everybody finds different things easy or difficult. If this is happening, just say "Sorry, I'm having trouble with this. Can you go through it again?" The mentor absolutely won't mind doing this. They're not here to look smart, they're here to help you learn something, and until that's happened, they haven't done their job. [If they do mind, get another mentor.]

tedyoung 7y ago

When you do have your 1:1 synchronous time (probably remote, especially these days), make sure you're organized. I work with some of my mentees to put together a standard agenda for each "meeting". Sometimes that'll be a discussion of some code, sometimes it'll be actual pairing, sometimes it'll be just chatting about a recent interview experience. Especially with respect to reviewing code, the further in advance you can provide the code to the mentor, the better.