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> I just place no value on others being nice to me. I care much more about do they treat me with respect and decency? Are they honest? Anyone who's been in The
by CiPHPerCoder 7y ago
> I just place no value on others being nice to me. I care much more about do they treat me with respect and decency? Are they honest?
Anyone who's been in The South for an appreciable length of time won't need to hear this, but it's totally possible to be "nice" while also being a jerk.
Respect and honesty go a long way towards productive conversations.
- dumbfoundded 7y agoI don't know much about the South but I agree. Respect and honesty are slow to earn and easy to lose. Nice is something you can turn on and off with no cost. Some of the most honest, wonderful, and smartest people I've met have sharp edges. Especially on first impression.
- JohnFen 7y ago> Nice is something you can turn on and off with no cost. OK, this confirms that I have a different definition of what makes a "nice person". Nice isn't something you can turn on and off with no effort. Nice isn't even always the same as pleasant. So, I'll bow out of commenting on this, as we're not really speaking the same language. My apologies for the confusion this may have caused in my comments.
- JohnFen 7y ago> it's totally possible to be "nice" while also being a jerk. I know the southern trait you're talking about, but I disagree with this statement. If you're a jerk, you're not a nice person no matter how flowery your language is. Perhaps this is the fundamental problem I have with this essay -- I don't share the same definition of a "nice person" as the author. If someone isn't respectful, polite, and honest, they aren't nice.