4 ms·

Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them. I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort t

by lief79 18y ago

Unless you are trying to get to know your neighbors, it is very easy to not know them. I found that after freshman year of college, you had to make an effort to meet upperclassmen, even those on your floor. They already have friends, and routines, and meeting random strangers is not usually a part of those routines. It seems like this has only gotten worse since college. So, on this note, when is the last time you struck up a conversation with a random stranger. I highly recommend trying it sometime, as it tends to be enlightening.

harry 18y ago
I agree, it is enlightening and very much a rewarding thing to do - striking up random conversations and generally being extroverted. BUT: I feel also takes a considerable toll on those with more introverted worldviews. Now adays I'm a misanthrope - also I'm a social scientist: I see new people as almost a 'chore.' Getting them caught up with your groups lingo/stories/norms is akin to teaching a kid. Exerting that much effort into a 'new friend' is difficult for me to justify - especially when the only thing tying you to the new person is a whim or chance encounter. Making friends is great, it works well with all aspects of social life and breaks routines, but there's definitely real reasons why it isn't done at the same pace as one sees in college. When a typical jane doe moves into anomie (IE right after highschool, moving to a new place, new job) they're left to redefine themselves through the people they interact with. It's human nature to go seek new people and make new friends. In contrast - if one is rooted and knows what they like/who their friends are/the basic character makeup that they are attracted too, one has much less "drive" for us to get out and converse with new people. It's definitely a trend berthed from our culture. Japan demonstrates a different culture without this specific issue. China does too. Anyway!
albertcardona 18y ago
The subway in New York is particularly inviting. For a while lots of trains had the following sign: "STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" From Whitman, I think. [Plus, I find it easy to start a conversation in NY subway, for some reason still beyond my understanding.]
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by lief79 18y ago

harry 18y ago

I agree, it is enlightening and very much a rewarding thing to do - striking up random conversations and generally being extroverted. BUT: I feel also takes a considerable toll on those with more introverted worldviews. Now adays I'm a misanthrope - also I'm a social scientist: I see new people as almost a 'chore.' Getting them caught up with your groups lingo/stories/norms is akin to teaching a kid. Exerting that much effort into a 'new friend' is difficult for me to justify - especially when the only thing tying you to the new person is a whim or chance encounter. Making friends is great, it works well with all aspects of social life and breaks routines, but there's definitely real reasons why it isn't done at the same pace as one sees in college. When a typical jane doe moves into anomie (IE right after highschool, moving to a new place, new job) they're left to redefine themselves through the people they interact with. It's human nature to go seek new people and make new friends. In contrast - if one is rooted and knows what they like/who their friends are/the basic character makeup that they are attracted too, one has much less "drive" for us to get out and converse with new people. It's definitely a trend berthed from our culture. Japan demonstrates a different culture without this specific issue. China does too. Anyway!

albertcardona 18y ago

The subway in New York is particularly inviting. For a while lots of trains had the following sign: "STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" From Whitman, I think. [Plus, I find it easy to start a conversation in NY subway, for some reason still beyond my understanding.]

deleted 18y ago
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