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> Listening to upbeat, energetic music and avoiding depressing music, which tends to make me feel worse Anecdotally, this would have completely the opposite ef

> Listening to upbeat, energetic music and avoiding depressing music, which tends to make me feel worse Anecdotally, this would have completely the opposite effect on me. If I was frustrated or down in high school I would listen to Whitehouse or something and get over it by virtue of the fact that there exists someone orders of magnitude more manic than I was. It made my feelings seem trivial in comparison. Even when I'm not feeling down, listening to stereotypically upbeat music is sure to make me feel down. I would wonder how people could produce such an upbeat thing and speculate how such upbeatness could be acquired. Then I would conclude they're just in a separate plane of existence from me, unreachable by any means, and by then I'm feeling more down than I was. This is when I'm not depressed. > Time heals all wounds. I can never bring myself to believe this, depressed or not. Some people are born a certain way, and there's no real cure for whatever condition they have. If it is meant that we only live a single lifetime then I'd be inclined to believe it, but in that case I don't think such a statement will help people questioning the value of staying alive. Coincidentally I was reading Johnny Got His Gun the other night, which is probably an antithesis to this statement. Imagine you're a veteran, no arms, no legs, no mouth or eyes or ears or anything really except one's own mind. All of it blown off by shrapnel. Nothing but your own thoughts to pore over the details for the rest of your existence. Can time literally heal such wounds? Depressed people, or people who aren't even depressed currently but have been through it enough times, will take any adage thrown at them and like a martial artist find some way to redirect the intended meaning behind the words into one which fulfills their personal outlook on life. You can mean perfectly well by saying such while it will end up having the opposite effect. And you might not even know this is the case when the other person says "thanks" or something. They know if they give the generic universally acknowledged upbeat, energetic response people expect, the other party will be satisfied and go away. Anything to make them so they won't have to listen to words that will never mean the same things again. It's difficult to get through to people who do not think rationally. For all you know they might not even be seeking advice but merely validation that nobody really, truly cares enough to get to the bottom of their psyche, their desires, them, and instead regurgitate Inspirational Quote of the Week as if it were something resolvable over the course of a day. When they receive that validation it only solidifies their position. I'm not saying you shouldn't try. I will not give mental health advice for these reasons. But that's how it can go.

pmoriarty 7y ago
"listening to stereotypically upbeat music is sure to make me feel down" It doesn't have to be stereotypically upbeat music. It should be music you actually enjoy and make you feel more energetic and lifts your mood up. If listening to depressing music does that for you, great. "I can never bring myself to believe this, depressed or not. Some people are born a certain way, and there's no real cure for whatever condition they have." I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak for my own experience, and in my experience with time I've always eventually felt better. Maybe I wasn't "cured" of my depression, and I'd always feel depressed again eventually too, but at least for some time I'd find relief and my feelings of gloom and doom would be behind me. I could even smile and laugh for a time, and enjoy myself. For me depression comes in cycles and waves.. I've learned to ride them out. "I was reading Johnny Got His Gun the other night, which is probably an antithesis to this statement. Imagine you're a veteran, no arms, no legs, no mouth or eyes or ears or anything really except one's own mind. All of it blown off by shrapnel. Nothing but your own thoughts to pore over the details for the rest of your existence. Can time literally heal such wounds?" Oh, come on. That's a super extreme example. Do you have your limbs, sight, speech, and hearing? If so, you're much better off than Johnny. He'd have probably have given anything to have a fraction of what you have for a single day. You should try to appreciate that and be grateful for it. There's a way of looking at life that helps you and a way that hurts you. Focusing on how miserable and unlucky you are will inevitably lead you in a downward spiral. Count on it. Instead, do everything in your power to focus on the positive aspects of your life and how you can improve your life. That way leads to healing. Your choice. Also, I'd strongly recommend you watch some videos on Brooke Ellison and Kyle Maynard. Ellison was paralyzed from the neck down when she was hit by a car when she was 11 years old. Maynard was born a congenital amputee, missing half of each arm and leg. Ellison wound up going to Harvard and becoming a professor. Maynard became a champion wrestler and climbed Mount Kilamanjaro. These are people who've overcome adversity the like of which most of us can not fathom. They're far from alone, either. I like to seek out stories like this, because they put my life and my problems in perspective, and really inspire me to appreciate what I have and make the most of my life.

pmoriarty 7y ago

"listening to stereotypically upbeat music is sure to make me feel down" It doesn't have to be stereotypically upbeat music. It should be music you actually enjoy and make you feel more energetic and lifts your mood up. If listening to depressing music does that for you, great. "I can never bring myself to believe this, depressed or not. Some people are born a certain way, and there's no real cure for whatever condition they have." I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak for my own experience, and in my experience with time I've always eventually felt better. Maybe I wasn't "cured" of my depression, and I'd always feel depressed again eventually too, but at least for some time I'd find relief and my feelings of gloom and doom would be behind me. I could even smile and laugh for a time, and enjoy myself. For me depression comes in cycles and waves.. I've learned to ride them out. "I was reading Johnny Got His Gun the other night, which is probably an antithesis to this statement. Imagine you're a veteran, no arms, no legs, no mouth or eyes or ears or anything really except one's own mind. All of it blown off by shrapnel. Nothing but your own thoughts to pore over the details for the rest of your existence. Can time literally heal such wounds?" Oh, come on. That's a super extreme example. Do you have your limbs, sight, speech, and hearing? If so, you're much better off than Johnny. He'd have probably have given anything to have a fraction of what you have for a single day. You should try to appreciate that and be grateful for it. There's a way of looking at life that helps you and a way that hurts you. Focusing on how miserable and unlucky you are will inevitably lead you in a downward spiral. Count on it. Instead, do everything in your power to focus on the positive aspects of your life and how you can improve your life. That way leads to healing. Your choice. Also, I'd strongly recommend you watch some videos on Brooke Ellison and Kyle Maynard. Ellison was paralyzed from the neck down when she was hit by a car when she was 11 years old. Maynard was born a congenital amputee, missing half of each arm and leg. Ellison wound up going to Harvard and becoming a professor. Maynard became a champion wrestler and climbed Mount Kilamanjaro. These are people who've overcome adversity the like of which most of us can not fathom. They're far from alone, either. I like to seek out stories like this, because they put my life and my problems in perspective, and really inspire me to appreciate what I have and make the most of my life.