> The one thing that holds most of us back is shame. This is condescending. If you ask, you have to be prepared for the other side saying no. Sometimes, the ve

> The one thing that holds most of us back is shame. This is condescending. If you ask, you have to be prepared for the other side saying no. Sometimes, the very act of asking can be construed as offensive and deteriorate relations, resulting in premature termination of either the negotiations or the relationship altogether. It only makes sense to ask if you have leverage. You have leverage to ask for a raise if you can afford to be unemployed for a while while you look for new work. You have leverage to ask for a reduction in housing rent if the housing market is liquid enough that you are reasonably certain that you can find another place to live that offers you roughly the same utility per dollar that you are already paying. By definition, people with means are more likely to have leverage than people without means. The question, often enough, is how to get people to realize the leverage they already have, or at least to come up with a strategy to develop leverage where they had none before.