4 ms·

You must have had your share of weasels during contract negotiations.

RobertRoberts 7y ago
I have dealt with some horrible people over the years. It's incredible what they will do to get away with stuff. Standing your ground while maintaining a logical and rational approach is the only way to deal with them. Most of them like a fight, so you simply can't pick one with them.
- mikekchar 7y ago
  Assuming there is an external person arbitrating (which is usually the case when dealing with internal politics at least -- one or two levels up from you), it's so important in these cases to stay reasonable. Virtually every single time, the person that likes to fight will cross the line in the hopes of goading you into a fight. But it's exactly at that time that you win. You send a very reasonable email to the arbitrating person saying, "I'm really trying my best to get this working, but I'm having trouble. Could you please give me a hand." Since the arbitrating person really would rather do nothing, they will look at the situation and say, "A is completely reasonable. B is not. B, you need to change." I remember one time where I was discussing a problem with a manager in another team. Every single email he sent, he CC'd the management 2 levels up. Every single email I sent, I sent directly to him only. My colleague was panicking. He felt that I needed to show my side of the story to upper management or else I would be in trouble. Eventually the management 2 levels up got frustrated: "Why am I getting all of these emails? Why can't you people sort out this problem yourself?" To which I reasonably replied, "I'm very sorry that you've been bothered, and I'm not sure why this person is being so difficult. Now that you are here, would you mind giving us a hand?" Problem solved.
  - RobertRoberts 7y ago
    You have a good point about CC'ing too many people. And that care should be taken when including others in a discussion that could affect their reputation. Thanks for pointing this out.

I have dealt with some horrible people over the years. It's incredible what they will do to get away with stuff. Standing your ground while maintaining a logical and rational approach is the only way to deal with them. Most of them like a fight, so you simply can't pick one with them.

mikekchar 7y ago
Assuming there is an external person arbitrating (which is usually the case when dealing with internal politics at least -- one or two levels up from you), it's so important in these cases to stay reasonable. Virtually every single time, the person that likes to fight will cross the line in the hopes of goading you into a fight. But it's exactly at that time that you win. You send a very reasonable email to the arbitrating person saying, "I'm really trying my best to get this working, but I'm having trouble. Could you please give me a hand." Since the arbitrating person really would rather do nothing, they will look at the situation and say, "A is completely reasonable. B is not. B, you need to change." I remember one time where I was discussing a problem with a manager in another team. Every single email he sent, he CC'd the management 2 levels up. Every single email I sent, I sent directly to him only. My colleague was panicking. He felt that I needed to show my side of the story to upper management or else I would be in trouble. Eventually the management 2 levels up got frustrated: "Why am I getting all of these emails? Why can't you people sort out this problem yourself?" To which I reasonably replied, "I'm very sorry that you've been bothered, and I'm not sure why this person is being so difficult. Now that you are here, would you mind giving us a hand?" Problem solved.
- RobertRoberts 7y ago
  You have a good point about CC'ing too many people. And that care should be taken when including others in a discussion that could affect their reputation. Thanks for pointing this out.