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That's only true if you're willing to entirely discount the intent of the sender, and the perception of receiver. There's a stark difference between giving cle
by CaptArmchair 7y ago
That's only true if you're willing to entirely discount the intent of the sender, and the perception of receiver.
There's a stark difference between giving clearly unsolicited advice, and giving advice because the other person asks for advice.
Then there's the grey area where you have to rely on non-verbal and implicit communication because it's unclear whether any advice given will be perceived as presumptuous or as pure gold. This is the murky area of human interaction where intuition matters more and formal rules don't always apply.
There have been times when I resisted advice given to me. Only to understand some time later that the advice given was really helpful and true, and ending up grateful for having that person not holding back on me.
- abjKT26nO8 7y agoYou can phrase useful advice in a "non-advicy" way. E.g. "here is how I do it..." instead of "it's better to do it this way/you should do it like this". This form sends an implicit message "there may be other, maybe better, ways to do it/YMMV". The phrasing indicates whether the sender thinks of themselves as someone who has all the answers vs someone who just found out that something works for them.
- kd5bjo 7y agoBe careful with this, too. When somebody brings up problems they’re having, they often just want the catharsis of complaining and empathy about their situation. Proffering a solution, even couched as you have described, can change the conversation dynamic from empathy to a semi-combative back-and-forth which serves no-one’s purpose.