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FYI to anyone wanting to dive down into the rabbit hole, the author has over a decade of blog posts. An interesting person to say the least. Note that she is in

FYI to anyone wanting to dive down into the rabbit hole, the author has over a decade of blog posts. An interesting person to say the least. Note that she is intersex, the main focus of much of the at least earlier blog posts that I've looked through.

DoreenMichele 7y ago
My feeling is that most women would like to normalize "I identify with girly things because I'm a girl and I'm sick to death of being required to neutralize my language -- which often means make it male coded -- to be seen as serious and professional." I'm 54 years old. I'm not as pretty as I used to be. I spent years believing I was sexually harassed because I was beautiful and feeling trapped because society also signals that being beautiful is required for a woman to be allowed to set foot outside. I keep waiting to be old and ugly enough for men to take me seriously and stop acting like my gender and whether or not they would hit that is the entire question in their mind for how to relate to me. I've concluded that just being female is all it takes for far too many men to act like I'm nothing but a sex object. That beauty thing was straight up a lie I was being told. She likely wants her more personal blog posts to remain available as support for others like her and an education opportunity for others. But it potentially goes bad places to focus on that element on an overwhelmingly male forum that normally talks about tech. Women are routinely enraged when their coding work or other work is essentially ignored so people can focus on her gender, how pretty she is, etc. I spoke up initially to try to suggest "She's probably just a girl sick to death of being told she needs to actively hide her gender and went with a name she identifies with and it would be nice if the world didn't make a big fucking deal out of that." That's perhaps putting out the fire with gasoline and just directing more attention to the detail of her gender. Unfortunately, I don't know enough code to talk about that and try to give that more focus. On the upside, at least this conversation is happening at the bottom of the page and isn't at the top.
- war1025 7y ago
  I didn't mean any offense by my comment. I literally just meant that there is a lot of material there to look through. I think it's commendable of people to put that much of themselves out there for others to see.
  - DoreenMichele 7y ago
    I'm sure you didn't. I didn't either and I don't know if me commenting here at all was in any way constructive. It's a nuisance problem with no clear solutions.

DoreenMichele 7y ago

My feeling is that most women would like to normalize "I identify with girly things because I'm a girl and I'm sick to death of being required to neutralize my language -- which often means make it male coded -- to be seen as serious and professional." I'm 54 years old. I'm not as pretty as I used to be. I spent years believing I was sexually harassed because I was beautiful and feeling trapped because society also signals that being beautiful is required for a woman to be allowed to set foot outside. I keep waiting to be old and ugly enough for men to take me seriously and stop acting like my gender and whether or not they would hit that is the entire question in their mind for how to relate to me. I've concluded that just being female is all it takes for far too many men to act like I'm nothing but a sex object. That beauty thing was straight up a lie I was being told. She likely wants her more personal blog posts to remain available as support for others like her and an education opportunity for others. But it potentially goes bad places to focus on that element on an overwhelmingly male forum that normally talks about tech. Women are routinely enraged when their coding work or other work is essentially ignored so people can focus on her gender, how pretty she is, etc. I spoke up initially to try to suggest "She's probably just a girl sick to death of being told she needs to actively hide her gender and went with a name she identifies with and it would be nice if the world didn't make a big fucking deal out of that." That's perhaps putting out the fire with gasoline and just directing more attention to the detail of her gender. Unfortunately, I don't know enough code to talk about that and try to give that more focus. On the upside, at least this conversation is happening at the bottom of the page and isn't at the top.

war1025 7y ago
I didn't mean any offense by my comment. I literally just meant that there is a lot of material there to look through. I think it's commendable of people to put that much of themselves out there for others to see.
- DoreenMichele 7y ago
  I'm sure you didn't. I didn't either and I don't know if me commenting here at all was in any way constructive. It's a nuisance problem with no clear solutions.