4 ms·

They kept sending me "do you know [person I probably don't know]" as notifications on my phone! This was the last straw that made me delete the app and my accou

They kept sending me "do you know [person I probably don't know]" as notifications on my phone! This was the last straw that made me delete the app and my account entirely a few years ago. One of the big annoyances in life is being notified or bugged about something I don't need to be notified about. This keeps getting worse with modern tech all the time which has slowly led me to stop using anything I don't have full control over.

ConsiderCrying 7y ago
If only that applied to everyone. Most people will get ten crappy notifications with one good one and go "Oh, well, not too bad." I think I used the 'People You May Know' feature a bit when I first joined but, as time went on, it really just became "This one guy who once worked at the same place as you and maybe knows someone you know". These algorithms are very smart and that's their problem - they overestimate the number of connections an average person makes.
- anticensor 7y ago
  A normal human can sustain relation with 40 relatives, 150 friends and 1000 acquittances. FB algos are (deliberately) tuned for twice those numbers.
  - wolco 7y ago
    I understand your point but honestly humans are varied. Some can handle more some less. People self regulate.
- r00fus 7y ago
  I can tell you my kids' school is now driving a program to improve what I like to call "digital skepticism" (defense against dark arts?) - these are elementary school kids I think Facebook's tactics were a landgrab before the global populace starts to build an antibody to pervasive advertising/spam/surveillance. Clearly this needs to be bolstered by legislation/regulation.
- wh1t3n01s3 7y ago
  A good % of those were clearly people you are not friend with who had simply looked @ your profile. The fb algorithm chooses the ones that rarely log, to receive those as notifications. So you get addicted. Example: ‘that woman/man has probably looked @ my profile, I need to open the app and see whe she/he is’ I quitted too, what a wise choice!
krilly 7y ago
>This was the last straw that made me delete the app and my account entirely a few years ago. Why not just disable notifications, or just uninstall the app without deleting your account? Facebook can still be of use to you without you being of use to it. I've long used Facebook only for messaging and managing events because it's an effective and ubiquitous platform for both of these things.
- reaperducer 7y ago
  Why not just disable notifications Possibly because some combination of his device/platform/Facebook didn't honor his request after a while. At one time it wasn't unheard of for an app to self-update and reset notifications and other settings. or just uninstall the app without deleting your account Revenge, probably. And/or to punish FB microscopically, but in the only way we can. I've long used Facebook only for messaging and managing events because it's an effective and ubiquitous platform for both of these things. Good for you. Not everyone lives the same life that you do.
- cgriswald 7y ago
  > Why not just disable notifications Many apps provide useful notifications but some genius somewhere realized they can get more eyeballs if they abuse the notification system. So you have to take the bad with the good or throw them both out. What’s worse is some apps provide “fine grain control” which is supposed to allow you to decide what types of notifications you get. Some other genius had the idea to be very loose with what belongs in what category. And yet another genius had the idea to spam email if phone notifications are disabled. And they’ll let you disable that too... but yet another genius had the idea to “accidentally” forget all these settings. So... I don’t know. Disable them, sure. It’s the advice that keeps on giving, I guess.
smacktoward 7y ago
The one that got me to delete the app was when I went out one night on a first date with a woman, and then both the woman and I immediately started showing up in each other's "do you know" prompts. There is probably an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "FB watched our GPS and noticed our phones sat next to each other at the same location for several hours," but it still felt sufficiently creepy to make me uninterested in sticking around to figure it out.
- jetrink 7y ago
  > There is probably an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "FB watched our GPS and noticed our phones sat next to each other at the same location for several hours," but it still felt sufficiently creepy to make me uninterested in sticking around to figure it out. That's exactly what happened[1]. > "Location information by itself doesn’t indicate that two people might be friends," said the Facebook spokesperson. "That’s why location is only one of the factors we use to suggest people you may know.” 1. https://splinternews.com/facebook-is-using-your-phones-location-to-suggest-new-f-1793857843 https://splinternews.com/facebook-is-using-your-phones-locat...
- cosmotron 7y ago
  If one person searched for the other by name (you know, just to see if they're on FB and what stuff is publicly shared), then they may appear in PYMK.
  - r0m4n0 7y ago
    Yea this I believe to be true as well. A few people I’ve matched with on tinder repeatedly showed up on PYMK soon after. Leading up to a date would only make sense that they would search by name on Facebook. More likely that than the information between the services
    - propogandist 7y ago
      Tinder, like most apps, constantly call graph.facebook.com to report everything you're doing
harikb 7y ago
In case anyone hasn't seen the John Oliver episode on it [1] , it is worth your 5 minutes 1. https://youtu.be/kxatzHnl7Q8?t=16 https://youtu.be/kxatzHnl7Q8?t=16

ConsiderCrying 7y ago

If only that applied to everyone. Most people will get ten crappy notifications with one good one and go "Oh, well, not too bad." I think I used the 'People You May Know' feature a bit when I first joined but, as time went on, it really just became "This one guy who once worked at the same place as you and maybe knows someone you know". These algorithms are very smart and that's their problem - they overestimate the number of connections an average person makes.

anticensor 7y ago
A normal human can sustain relation with 40 relatives, 150 friends and 1000 acquittances. FB algos are (deliberately) tuned for twice those numbers.
- wolco 7y ago
  I understand your point but honestly humans are varied. Some can handle more some less. People self regulate.
r00fus 7y ago
I can tell you my kids' school is now driving a program to improve what I like to call "digital skepticism" (defense against dark arts?) - these are elementary school kids I think Facebook's tactics were a landgrab before the global populace starts to build an antibody to pervasive advertising/spam/surveillance. Clearly this needs to be bolstered by legislation/regulation.
wh1t3n01s3 7y ago
A good % of those were clearly people you are not friend with who had simply looked @ your profile. The fb algorithm chooses the ones that rarely log, to receive those as notifications. So you get addicted. Example: ‘that woman/man has probably looked @ my profile, I need to open the app and see whe she/he is’ I quitted too, what a wise choice!

krilly 7y ago

>This was the last straw that made me delete the app and my account entirely a few years ago. Why not just disable notifications, or just uninstall the app without deleting your account? Facebook can still be of use to you without you being of use to it. I've long used Facebook only for messaging and managing events because it's an effective and ubiquitous platform for both of these things.

reaperducer 7y ago
Why not just disable notifications Possibly because some combination of his device/platform/Facebook didn't honor his request after a while. At one time it wasn't unheard of for an app to self-update and reset notifications and other settings. or just uninstall the app without deleting your account Revenge, probably. And/or to punish FB microscopically, but in the only way we can. I've long used Facebook only for messaging and managing events because it's an effective and ubiquitous platform for both of these things. Good for you. Not everyone lives the same life that you do.
cgriswald 7y ago
> Why not just disable notifications Many apps provide useful notifications but some genius somewhere realized they can get more eyeballs if they abuse the notification system. So you have to take the bad with the good or throw them both out. What’s worse is some apps provide “fine grain control” which is supposed to allow you to decide what types of notifications you get. Some other genius had the idea to be very loose with what belongs in what category. And yet another genius had the idea to spam email if phone notifications are disabled. And they’ll let you disable that too... but yet another genius had the idea to “accidentally” forget all these settings. So... I don’t know. Disable them, sure. It’s the advice that keeps on giving, I guess.

smacktoward 7y ago

The one that got me to delete the app was when I went out one night on a first date with a woman, and then both the woman and I immediately started showing up in each other's "do you know" prompts. There is probably an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "FB watched our GPS and noticed our phones sat next to each other at the same location for several hours," but it still felt sufficiently creepy to make me uninterested in sticking around to figure it out.

jetrink 7y ago
> There is probably an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "FB watched our GPS and noticed our phones sat next to each other at the same location for several hours," but it still felt sufficiently creepy to make me uninterested in sticking around to figure it out. That's exactly what happened[1]. > "Location information by itself doesn’t indicate that two people might be friends," said the Facebook spokesperson. "That’s why location is only one of the factors we use to suggest people you may know.” 1. https://splinternews.com/facebook-is-using-your-phones-location-to-suggest-new-f-1793857843 https://splinternews.com/facebook-is-using-your-phones-locat...
cosmotron 7y ago
If one person searched for the other by name (you know, just to see if they're on FB and what stuff is publicly shared), then they may appear in PYMK.
- r0m4n0 7y ago
  Yea this I believe to be true as well. A few people I’ve matched with on tinder repeatedly showed up on PYMK soon after. Leading up to a date would only make sense that they would search by name on Facebook. More likely that than the information between the services
  - propogandist 7y ago
    Tinder, like most apps, constantly call graph.facebook.com to report everything you're doing

harikb 7y ago

In case anyone hasn't seen the John Oliver episode on it [1] , it is worth your 5 minutes 1. https://youtu.be/kxatzHnl7Q8?t=16 https://youtu.be/kxatzHnl7Q8?t=16