I would focus on the fact that people do not seem to understand that you're only pausing the discussion. I'm not aggressive myself either, and when the other

I would focus on the fact that people do not seem to understand that you're only pausing the discussion. I'm not aggressive myself either, and when the other person is not behaving correctly I make it clear: "when you are abusing me I do not want to continue this conversation. I need you to be respectful / control your emotions /etc. Let's stop here for now and we'll resume it when you've cooled down". Conversely, I've also stopped conversations because I wasn't in control of my emotions and needed some time off. If some of your co-workers keep forgetting you paused the discussion, maybe follow up with a short and to the point email ? What helped me tremendously is to work on "non violent communication", the concepts helped me express what I feel/need without abusing the others, which is one of my core tenants. In any case, I also strongly advise you a therapy, for instance maybe your "abuse detector" is really sensible and you need to calibrate it (I've done that for anger and I'm stressed a lot less). You can also speak with your co-workers : were they really angry ? Did their arguments was really about what was discussed? Maybe this is just their normal way of communicating and there's not so much heat as you felt. Finally, are you sure you're expected to win more arguments to be promoted? Do you a clear list of what you need to achieve from your manager point of view ?