4 ms·

If not even one of your exes would be willing to give a positive testimony, that in itself is a fairly powerful signal.

novok 7y ago
A lot of people only have a number of exes that they could measure on one hand. It's not like credit reporting or playing fortnight where you can prove 'your references' multiple times a month.
snerbles 7y ago
And for those that don't have exes?
- throw_away 7y ago
  This is a bootstrapping problem that must be overcome, much like with credit reporting or finding a job or renting an apartment, but I still think it's a bit far to say that even most people who have dated before are on poor or non-existent terms with every single one of their exes. This certainly doesn't match my experience.
  - fiblye 7y ago
    There's a very large number who simply cut ties entirely if it's possible. It's pretty much the most common advice given when breaking up. Among the people I've known, people who don't mind interacting with previous partners are anomalies.
  - adrianN 7y ago
    We should just offer unpaid dating internships so that people can build up a relationship rating before entering the market proper /s
    - masonic 7y ago
      A Bootycamp?
deckard1 7y ago
I can't imagine a world where exes get a say in my future dating prospects, positive or negative. Jesus christ HN. Not everything is a datapoint to be gamified and exploited.
- hoseja 7y ago
  Not if you're VC-addled Silicon Valley drone!
sacado2 7y ago
Let's say you're just out of a divorce / long-term relationship that lasted for 15 years or more. I wouldn't trust a testimonial from your ex-wife (because either she will hate you or, if you're such a great person as she says, why did she leave you after so long?) And I wouldn't trust a testimonial from you previous exs, back in the late 90s, early 2000s, because you probably changed a lot since then. At the opposite end of the spectrum, if I was looking for a long-term relationship, I'd be very wary of anybody providing me with many testimonials of ex-boyfriends from the last 2 years.

A lot of people only have a number of exes that they could measure on one hand. It's not like credit reporting or playing fortnight where you can prove 'your references' multiple times a month.

snerbles 7y ago

And for those that don't have exes?

throw_away 7y ago
This is a bootstrapping problem that must be overcome, much like with credit reporting or finding a job or renting an apartment, but I still think it's a bit far to say that even most people who have dated before are on poor or non-existent terms with every single one of their exes. This certainly doesn't match my experience.
- fiblye 7y ago
  There's a very large number who simply cut ties entirely if it's possible. It's pretty much the most common advice given when breaking up. Among the people I've known, people who don't mind interacting with previous partners are anomalies.
- adrianN 7y ago
  We should just offer unpaid dating internships so that people can build up a relationship rating before entering the market proper /s
  - masonic 7y ago
    A Bootycamp?

deckard1 7y ago

I can't imagine a world where exes get a say in my future dating prospects, positive or negative. Jesus christ HN. Not everything is a datapoint to be gamified and exploited.

hoseja 7y ago
Not if you're VC-addled Silicon Valley drone!

sacado2 7y ago

Let's say you're just out of a divorce / long-term relationship that lasted for 15 years or more. I wouldn't trust a testimonial from your ex-wife (because either she will hate you or, if you're such a great person as she says, why did she leave you after so long?) And I wouldn't trust a testimonial from you previous exs, back in the late 90s, early 2000s, because you probably changed a lot since then. At the opposite end of the spectrum, if I was looking for a long-term relationship, I'd be very wary of anybody providing me with many testimonials of ex-boyfriends from the last 2 years.