4 ms·
Credible testimony is a big problem. People who’ve moved on won’t want to really talk about it much. Meanwhile those who haven’t moved on will replay every bad
by fiblye 7y ago
Credible testimony is a big problem. People who’ve moved on won’t want to really talk about it much. Meanwhile those who haven’t moved on will replay every bad moment in their head and do their best to make that other person look like a demon, and some just outright lie because they want to take the other person down.
It’s hard to know if that person really was an asshole, or if the person writing the review was the asshole. The only way to know is to accumulate a bunch of separate reviews and maybe try some complicated ML algorithm on the intricacies of the messages/find trends in a person’s reviews (if everyone around them is negative, it’s probably not other people), but...if you start to get to a point where someone has an obvious trend, they’ve probably been through loads of partners, and people looking for dating and not hookups generally don’t want someone who’s churning through new partners constantly.
If you have a solution to this problem, divorce attorneys around the world would pay you for it. It’s way more valuable than a dating app.
- throw_away 7y agoIf not even one of your exes would be willing to give a positive testimony, that in itself is a fairly powerful signal.
- novok 7y agoA lot of people only have a number of exes that they could measure on one hand. It's not like credit reporting or playing fortnight where you can prove 'your references' multiple times a month.
- snerbles 7y agoAnd for those that don't have exes?
- throw_away 7y agoThis is a bootstrapping problem that must be overcome, much like with credit reporting or finding a job or renting an apartment, but I still think it's a bit far to say that even most people who have dated before are on poor or non-existent terms with every single one of their exes. This certainly doesn't match my experience.
- fiblye 7y agoThere's a very large number who simply cut ties entirely if it's possible. It's pretty much the most common advice given when breaking up. Among the people I've known, people who don't mind interacting with previous partners are anomalies.
- adrianN 7y agoWe should just offer unpaid dating internships so that people can build up a relationship rating before entering the market proper /s
- masonic 7y agoA Bootycamp?
- deckard1 7y agoI can't imagine a world where exes get a say in my future dating prospects, positive or negative. Jesus christ HN. Not everything is a datapoint to be gamified and exploited.
- hoseja 7y agoNot if you're VC-addled Silicon Valley drone!
- sacado2 7y agoLet's say you're just out of a divorce / long-term relationship that lasted for 15 years or more. I wouldn't trust a testimonial from your ex-wife (because either she will hate you or, if you're such a great person as she says, why did she leave you after so long?) And I wouldn't trust a testimonial from you previous exs, back in the late 90s, early 2000s, because you probably changed a lot since then. At the opposite end of the spectrum, if I was looking for a long-term relationship, I'd be very wary of anybody providing me with many testimonials of ex-boyfriends from the last 2 years.