4 ms·

> So the solution is to introduce a gatekeeper. What does a gatekeeper look like? A clinically trained psychologist-cum-matchmaker (pun not intended) who can ce

by zelly 7y ago

> So the solution is to introduce a gatekeeper. What does a gatekeeper look like? A clinically trained psychologist-cum-matchmaker (pun not intended) who can certify that the matches you are set up with are people with a track record of dealing honestly (for your personal definition of honest) in the dating market. Don't like your gatekeeper? Pick a different one. The reason young people use dating apps is to avoid this old world formalism. I don't think your idea would get much traction outside of South Asia and the Middle East.

WorldMaker 7y ago
It's impossible to figure out real world numbers from hype, but my impression is that It's Just Lunch has made a ton of money in the US on exactly this business model. Interestingly, their reputation seems to be again at similar risk because as they've scaled up across the country they've relied more and more on high cost being their gatekeeper over more direct contact with matchmakers. Or at least that's they way it seems from the many emails and calls I see to rejoin with "discounts" jumping an order-of-magnitude every few years from tens of dollars to hundreds of dollars, to now thousands. It's rather extraordinary and it doesn't give me a lot of confidence to rejoin even if I was interested.
- zelly 7y ago
  Young people. For people in their 30s, it's a different ball game. Lots of well-off career people panicking to pair up. I have no doubt there is a lot of money in that. Actually I'm bullish on 30+ arranged marriage apps. It seems like one of those megatrends that's going to hit like a tidal wave.
  - WorldMaker 7y ago
    It's not arranged marriage by any means, it's just Blind Date As A Service. I signed up in my 20s. They admitted I was young versus their median, but I wasn't alone and had plenty of dates in the few months I was a member. There was a lot of appeal to the idea of not dealing with the usual grind of the average dating app, and getting something a bit more personal/high-touch. (Though even then it seemed apparent that it was less high touch than it seemed for the cost, and the real gatekeeper was the cost.) There should be ways to sell human-moderated dating apps (Blind Dates as a Service) to young people just on how dumb and how much work even the "swipe left/right" systems are. Figuring out how to scale that cheaply definitely seems to be the impossible problem.
    - mswen 7y ago
      I am reminded of a conversation with the CIO/CTO of an Au Pair matching service. Their process at that time (2008) was to have a set of employees who were matchmakers. They would read hundreds/thousands of family requests and requirements and then hundreds/thousands of applications of the young people from various countries around the world. They would match them with prosperous US families that were looking for an au pair. As he explained the process I began brainstorming ways to use NLP and earlier versions statistical analysis, machine learning or maybe genetic algorithms to take over or at least assist in what was a very manual process by those matchmaker employees. He left for a different job not too long after and we never did more than a bit of brainstorming. And, I suspect that this matching is still being done largely through human reading and thinking including how humans "read between the lines" which can sometimes be so accurate and other times just reveal the biases of the matchmaker. However, thinking about those kind of person to person compatibility and matching problems led me to reserve the domain name trupeer.me - the idea of helping professional career people find their tru peers in industry
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
benbristow 7y ago
I'm a young person (23) and I'd quite like the 'old world formalism'. Then again, I like going on traditional dates and getting to know a person. I don't really know any different.

by zelly 7y ago

WorldMaker 7y ago

It's impossible to figure out real world numbers from hype, but my impression is that It's Just Lunch has made a ton of money in the US on exactly this business model. Interestingly, their reputation seems to be again at similar risk because as they've scaled up across the country they've relied more and more on high cost being their gatekeeper over more direct contact with matchmakers. Or at least that's they way it seems from the many emails and calls I see to rejoin with "discounts" jumping an order-of-magnitude every few years from tens of dollars to hundreds of dollars, to now thousands. It's rather extraordinary and it doesn't give me a lot of confidence to rejoin even if I was interested.

zelly 7y ago
Young people. For people in their 30s, it's a different ball game. Lots of well-off career people panicking to pair up. I have no doubt there is a lot of money in that. Actually I'm bullish on 30+ arranged marriage apps. It seems like one of those megatrends that's going to hit like a tidal wave.
- WorldMaker 7y ago
  It's not arranged marriage by any means, it's just Blind Date As A Service. I signed up in my 20s. They admitted I was young versus their median, but I wasn't alone and had plenty of dates in the few months I was a member. There was a lot of appeal to the idea of not dealing with the usual grind of the average dating app, and getting something a bit more personal/high-touch. (Though even then it seemed apparent that it was less high touch than it seemed for the cost, and the real gatekeeper was the cost.) There should be ways to sell human-moderated dating apps (Blind Dates as a Service) to young people just on how dumb and how much work even the "swipe left/right" systems are. Figuring out how to scale that cheaply definitely seems to be the impossible problem.
  - mswen 7y ago
    I am reminded of a conversation with the CIO/CTO of an Au Pair matching service. Their process at that time (2008) was to have a set of employees who were matchmakers. They would read hundreds/thousands of family requests and requirements and then hundreds/thousands of applications of the young people from various countries around the world. They would match them with prosperous US families that were looking for an au pair. As he explained the process I began brainstorming ways to use NLP and earlier versions statistical analysis, machine learning or maybe genetic algorithms to take over or at least assist in what was a very manual process by those matchmaker employees. He left for a different job not too long after and we never did more than a bit of brainstorming. And, I suspect that this matching is still being done largely through human reading and thinking including how humans "read between the lines" which can sometimes be so accurate and other times just reveal the biases of the matchmaker. However, thinking about those kind of person to person compatibility and matching problems led me to reserve the domain name trupeer.me - the idea of helping professional career people find their tru peers in industry

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

benbristow 7y ago

I'm a young person (23) and I'd quite like the 'old world formalism'. Then again, I like going on traditional dates and getting to know a person. I don't really know any different.