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well, that is awfully low bandwidth in an internet-connected world. you may only be exposed to 500 potential mates that way. in a market like NYC, merely being

well, that is awfully low bandwidth in an internet-connected world. you may only be exposed to 500 potential mates that way. in a market like NYC, merely being on tinder would probably expose you to orders of magnitude more than that! makes sense to leverage tech to parlay your assets (e.g. attractiveness/mating value) to reach a wider audience in order to get highest possible match you can.

lotsofpulp 7y ago
I believe this is the root problem of all dating "apps" or websites, assuming the goal is for two people to find each other and settle down. Without computers, databases, and the internet, you might only have so many chances to meet someone, and so you are mentally ready to accept someone that may be a few bands "below" you. And you might grow to like them. But with so much of the cost and friction gone, and a seemingly infinite number of chances to meet someone, especially in bigger cities, that mentality is gone. Why accept someone who might be okay for you when you can aim higher? And if everyone has this mentality, then you can see where the market goes. I also think there is an issue with wealth/income gap and easy availability of data rendering certain people who aren't seen as able to be economically viable mates to have a value so low as to not be worth dating period.
- sokoloff 7y ago
  If one’s goal is to settle down, why spend time dating someone who has any deal-breaker (whether religious, smoking/drugs, economic, or any other)?
  - lotsofpulp 7y ago
    Because you have to compromise? That’s my point, is that the infinite selection offered by online dating makes it seem like you don’t have to compromise, whereas the years go by and you keep losing value as you age. Not that there’s anything wrong with dealbreakers, and maybe they are warranted, but it all depends how much you want to get married.

lotsofpulp 7y ago

I believe this is the root problem of all dating "apps" or websites, assuming the goal is for two people to find each other and settle down. Without computers, databases, and the internet, you might only have so many chances to meet someone, and so you are mentally ready to accept someone that may be a few bands "below" you. And you might grow to like them. But with so much of the cost and friction gone, and a seemingly infinite number of chances to meet someone, especially in bigger cities, that mentality is gone. Why accept someone who might be okay for you when you can aim higher? And if everyone has this mentality, then you can see where the market goes. I also think there is an issue with wealth/income gap and easy availability of data rendering certain people who aren't seen as able to be economically viable mates to have a value so low as to not be worth dating period.

sokoloff 7y ago
If one’s goal is to settle down, why spend time dating someone who has any deal-breaker (whether religious, smoking/drugs, economic, or any other)?
- lotsofpulp 7y ago
  Because you have to compromise? That’s my point, is that the infinite selection offered by online dating makes it seem like you don’t have to compromise, whereas the years go by and you keep losing value as you age. Not that there’s anything wrong with dealbreakers, and maybe they are warranted, but it all depends how much you want to get married.