4 ms·

That's... an arranged marriage. You've invented arranged marriages, sans coercion.

capableweb 7y ago
Arranged marriages sans coercion is not an arranged marriage anymore, I guess it's a normal marriage? The whole thing with arranged marriages is that the people in the marriage doesn't actually chose who they marry. What solatic is describing sounds nothing like a arranged marriage. You can always say no and move on, no one is forcing you anything.
- triceratops 7y ago
  You're thinking of "forced marriage", which is a subset of arranged marriages. There are arranged marriages where parents play the role of matchmaker and chaperones, with the kids having veto power. Or the converse, where the kids select partners from a professional matchmaker's rolls and the parents have veto power. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
  - slowmovintarget 7y ago
    Right. All the arranged marriages I'm aware of were ones where the expected norm was for the children to acquiesce to the arrangement, but didn't force them to accept. They did so either to honor their parent's selection (or that of the matchmaker hired by the parents). I also have colleagues that have declined the arranged matches. Their parents weren't happy, but they did it all the same.
neogodless 7y ago
No, I would say an accurate and succinct phrase would be "curated first dates."
- saagarjha 7y ago
  So arranged first dates?
  - arkh 7y ago
    That's what a lot of religious community do. > Alice and Bob are both bachelor and could start a family. Time for them to meet. If you want your community to grow you have to resort to this. If not, don't come complaining when most of your male population starts enjoying their life while cat ladies resent them.
    - lotsofpulp 7y ago
      Isn't that what any community does? If you know two people who might be a good match, then you might suggest it. It happened in college, at work, at temples, etc.
      - philwelch 7y ago
        Some communities do a better job of this than others.
      - novok 7y ago
        Dating through work is pretty risky (for any kind of coupling) unfortunately.
  - Spivak 7y ago
    Well... yes? I mean isn't this pretty much the feature of a dating app. I mean you still choose to go on the first date but you're there because you want the algorithm to curate your matches, right?
  - paulddraper 7y ago
    Yes, as is done routinely by mutual acquaintances today.
smachiz 7y ago
That's not an arranged marriage, it's an arranged pool of potential dates. Same as how if you're on tinder, you're not going to magically swipe to a person not on Tinder. It just so happens there's someone saying "This person isn't allowed to sign up for Tinder, they're emotionally scarred". Which will probably scar them more.
klyrs 7y ago
Add machine learning and it's eharmony

Arranged marriages sans coercion is not an arranged marriage anymore, I guess it's a normal marriage? The whole thing with arranged marriages is that the people in the marriage doesn't actually chose who they marry. What solatic is describing sounds nothing like a arranged marriage. You can always say no and move on, no one is forcing you anything.

triceratops 7y ago
You're thinking of "forced marriage", which is a subset of arranged marriages. There are arranged marriages where parents play the role of matchmaker and chaperones, with the kids having veto power. Or the converse, where the kids select partners from a professional matchmaker's rolls and the parents have veto power. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage
- slowmovintarget 7y ago
  Right. All the arranged marriages I'm aware of were ones where the expected norm was for the children to acquiesce to the arrangement, but didn't force them to accept. They did so either to honor their parent's selection (or that of the matchmaker hired by the parents). I also have colleagues that have declined the arranged matches. Their parents weren't happy, but they did it all the same.

neogodless 7y ago

No, I would say an accurate and succinct phrase would be "curated first dates."

saagarjha 7y ago
So arranged first dates?
- arkh 7y ago
  That's what a lot of religious community do. > Alice and Bob are both bachelor and could start a family. Time for them to meet. If you want your community to grow you have to resort to this. If not, don't come complaining when most of your male population starts enjoying their life while cat ladies resent them.
  - lotsofpulp 7y ago
    Isn't that what any community does? If you know two people who might be a good match, then you might suggest it. It happened in college, at work, at temples, etc.
    - philwelch 7y ago
      Some communities do a better job of this than others.
    - novok 7y ago
      Dating through work is pretty risky (for any kind of coupling) unfortunately.
- Spivak 7y ago
  Well... yes? I mean isn't this pretty much the feature of a dating app. I mean you still choose to go on the first date but you're there because you want the algorithm to curate your matches, right?
- paulddraper 7y ago
  Yes, as is done routinely by mutual acquaintances today.

smachiz 7y ago

That's not an arranged marriage, it's an arranged pool of potential dates. Same as how if you're on tinder, you're not going to magically swipe to a person not on Tinder. It just so happens there's someone saying "This person isn't allowed to sign up for Tinder, they're emotionally scarred". Which will probably scar them more.

klyrs 7y ago

Add machine learning and it's eharmony