The problem is that the reality of our field is such that I suspect that point (c) in your list there is actually not reality. Does that make any difference? I

The problem is that the reality of our field is such that I suspect that point (c) in your list there is actually not reality. Does that make any difference? If you could realise that it's not true, would that help? Anyway, I suspect your problems are nothing to do with the field, nothing to do with software engineering per se. See a professional; your field of work is not the problem and a professional will have seen this in people across a great many fields.