First, I would say that behavior modification is long, hard process. It's not something that reading a book can fix overnight. Second, just reading your post a

First, I would say that behavior modification is long, hard process. It's not something that reading a book can fix overnight. Second, just reading your post and the tone in it, I would say that it's not you but the narrative that you tell yourself. Maybe your co-workers didn't interpret the conversation as "harsh" at all and maybe they just thought that everyone had closure. It's important to consider maybe there's no ill intent or negativity behind their actions Lastly, I have the exact opposite of your problem and I have to work to hold my tongue. In some cases, people respected me and in others people would "work around me" so that my input wasn't needed or blunted. The grass is definitely not greener on this side. I would say moderation is key and choosing your battles wisely is important. Also, I would recommend seeking out a therapist if you feel like this is a pattern you see over and over. It could be that this doesn't originate within the workplace, but somewhere else in life. For what it's worth, I've watched some of the least aggressive/assertive people be the most effective communicators. People rally around them because of how they can trust them and the clarity they can bring to a situation. I believe effective communication and fostering relationships are much more valuable assets than being assertive or aggressive.