5 ms·

I know several people who keep silent until they can say something clever, and frankly, in most group situations they stand out as being slightly weird. Keeping

I know several people who keep silent until they can say something clever, and frankly, in most group situations they stand out as being slightly weird. Keeping your intellectual powder dry is just not a socially 'giving' behaviour. What's wrong with saying something that's not clever? Within a group, it might send the conversation off in a delightfully unanticipated direction. There's more to it all than always being right. Or clever.

philwelch 7y ago
There’s a difference between interpersonal social behavior and publishing written work, though.
- brlewis 7y ago
  Yes, that's why the paragraph after the one under discussion starts out, "Translated into essay writing...". So the paragraph discussed in this thread is about interpersonal social behavior.
  - philwelch 7y ago
    Ah, yes, thank you. Though as far as I can tell, it’s brought up, not in the context of saying that it’s a successful strategy for having engaging dinner parties, but in the context of saying it’s a good strategy for writing essays.
brlewis 7y ago
That's something I learned in my 20s that I wish I'd learned as a child.
disiplus 7y ago
i do this. it's not because i want to sound clever but because i have nothing of importance to say about the subject. and i can usually see if you don't either but won't tell you. i't did not served me great in social circles but honestly as im aging am more ok with that. i don't have to have an opinion about everything or hang out with everybody.
anon4242 7y ago
> Within a group, it might send the conversation off in a delightfully unanticipated direction. Or a not so delightfully unanticipated direction. Too many times I've realized too late that I was in a "hostile" group, so I say something stupid thinking I'm among friends and it's like switching a button on the group mood.
- darkerside 7y ago
  Then you've discovered something extremely valuable about that group
  - anon4242 7y ago
    Sure, but as a result I've grown more and more cautious about relaxing my guard which has made me more and more quiet in social situations.
    - darkerside 7y ago
      Hopefully it helps to recognize the beneficial outcome of your action (which I pointed out). I've been there, so I'm trying to help.
  - philwelch 7y ago
    Eh, I think it depends. I wouldn’t go out of my way to socialize with people who are uptight and easily offended or upset by dumb shit that I might say in a casual social setting, but most of us get roped into those situations from time to time, and being able to manage them without causing offense is worthwhile, even if you can only do that by being quiet.

philwelch 7y ago

There’s a difference between interpersonal social behavior and publishing written work, though.

brlewis 7y ago
Yes, that's why the paragraph after the one under discussion starts out, "Translated into essay writing...". So the paragraph discussed in this thread is about interpersonal social behavior.
- philwelch 7y ago
  Ah, yes, thank you. Though as far as I can tell, it’s brought up, not in the context of saying that it’s a successful strategy for having engaging dinner parties, but in the context of saying it’s a good strategy for writing essays.

brlewis 7y ago

That's something I learned in my 20s that I wish I'd learned as a child.

disiplus 7y ago

i do this. it's not because i want to sound clever but because i have nothing of importance to say about the subject. and i can usually see if you don't either but won't tell you. i't did not served me great in social circles but honestly as im aging am more ok with that. i don't have to have an opinion about everything or hang out with everybody.

anon4242 7y ago

> Within a group, it might send the conversation off in a delightfully unanticipated direction. Or a not so delightfully unanticipated direction. Too many times I've realized too late that I was in a "hostile" group, so I say something stupid thinking I'm among friends and it's like switching a button on the group mood.

darkerside 7y ago
Then you've discovered something extremely valuable about that group
- anon4242 7y ago
  Sure, but as a result I've grown more and more cautious about relaxing my guard which has made me more and more quiet in social situations.
  - darkerside 7y ago
    Hopefully it helps to recognize the beneficial outcome of your action (which I pointed out). I've been there, so I'm trying to help.
- philwelch 7y ago
  Eh, I think it depends. I wouldn’t go out of my way to socialize with people who are uptight and easily offended or upset by dumb shit that I might say in a casual social setting, but most of us get roped into those situations from time to time, and being able to manage them without causing offense is worthwhile, even if you can only do that by being quiet.