4 ms·

I am. I have decided years ago and I do not see this changing significantly that once my mortgage is paid down -- which is approximately in eight years -- I ju

by chx 7y ago

I am. I have decided years ago and I do not see this changing significantly that once my mortgage is paid down -- which is approximately in eight years -- I just want to die, I will be 53 by then. By then the so called "bucket list" will be empty. I am living alone and this I can't see changing any time soon. Do not think I am suicidal or depressed -- I have three international trips booked for this year already and so on. I am just utterly practical. Nothing frightens me more than living with a slowly fading mind in a much more rapidly failing body. Canada where I live has allowed medical assistance in dying since 2016 doesn't allow for this. I do not expect to be terminally ill and so I can't just decide, not even if I make a declaration ten years beforehands, that I want to end it in dignity and without pain. You can't. You can extend it far beyond where life is enjoyable, it is indeed the default expectation to do so but ending it, that's not allowed.

riku_iki 7y ago
53 looks young enough to be active, enjoy life and add value to society if you take care of your health.
- DoreenMichele 7y ago
  It depends on the condition in question. Some conditions have a life expectancy lower than age 53 and someone that age is deemed elderly for that subpopulation and can be suffering horribly.
- chx 7y ago
  > if you take care of your health. Yeah. See, I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes not long ago (AFTER I made the decision on when is the show over) and I can fully maintain a non diabetic blood sugar level with just diet and for the time being , I am doing so. It however greatly limits one of the biggest enjoyment in my life, namely food. THAT is the future -- as I age , more and more things I could do I won't be able to. I bought a rolling carry on for the first time today because I recognize running around with a stuffed backpack is not cutting it any more. Already I needed to limit how much I can sightsee on foot. All this. I am SO not interested in walking this path down to the bitter end.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
rubidium 7y ago
I sure hope that you’ve talked some 65+ year olds who are loving their life. Suffering is not the same as evil. With old age typically comes suffering. But my great grandma lived to be a 102 and loved her life to the end.
lallysingh 7y ago
Are you healthy? What keeps life from being more enjoyable?
prepend 7y ago
First, I really hope you reconsider as there are so many people you can help in the world. But I’m very curious your motivation to pay off your mortgage before death. What is driving that? I always thought mortgage payment was a stress as it is to me. But if I were to die then I wouldn’t need to care about mortgage. If anything, I would pay less mortgage and spend more liberally in my final 8 years. Perhaps 4 or even 5 international trips.
- chx 7y ago
  I want to leave a problem free inheritance to my nephew who is everything to me in this world.
  - prepend 7y ago
    That’s pretty admirable and I understand now how an intact, debt-free house is a great gift. It’s probably not possible to have a direct conversation with your nephew for whether he would prefer a house or more than 8 years with his uncle, but I think if you explore this concept you might be able to determine his preference and that could lead to extending your plan by a few years. One of the things I really found helpful from family members, and I have an uncle like this, is the life advice I’ve received. I didn’t get financial help, but being able to run through scenarios and ask about business and life plans has been super helpful. Another person in my life died and left letters to be opened in case of certain events. Those letters are helpful, but very different from being able to learn from and interact.
dctoedt 7y ago
> Do not think I am suicidal or depressed I respect your view (and share your fear of decay), but please don't rule out depression; you might not be able to accurately diagnose yourself. A clergyman friend once said, after someone committed suicide, that depression is a disease that can be fatal.
klipklop 7y ago
This could be a case of moderate anosognosia? Living alone can be terrible for mental health. I know a guy around your age after a divorce decided to move in with some younger roommates in SV, even though he had plenty of money to live alone. He did this to stay socially engaged. EDIT: I recall there have been a few studies where people became more satisfied with their life as they aged. I hope this is the case for you.
downerending 7y ago
That's somewhat relatable. A few suggestions for your bucket list, though, if you haven't done them already: Learn to ride a motorcycle. More fun than you'd think. See an eclipse from the totality. More fun than you'd think. Get a dog. Maybe not quite as fun as it looks, but pretty fun. Go see an Above and Beyond show at one of the huge, outdoor festivals. More fun than you'd think. Take a cruise. Not being flippant here. I suspect that there are a few more things you could easily add to your bucket list that you might really enjoy.

by chx 7y ago

riku_iki 7y ago

53 looks young enough to be active, enjoy life and add value to society if you take care of your health.

DoreenMichele 7y ago
It depends on the condition in question. Some conditions have a life expectancy lower than age 53 and someone that age is deemed elderly for that subpopulation and can be suffering horribly.
chx 7y ago
> if you take care of your health. Yeah. See, I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes not long ago (AFTER I made the decision on when is the show over) and I can fully maintain a non diabetic blood sugar level with just diet and for the time being , I am doing so. It however greatly limits one of the biggest enjoyment in my life, namely food. THAT is the future -- as I age , more and more things I could do I won't be able to. I bought a rolling carry on for the first time today because I recognize running around with a stuffed backpack is not cutting it any more. Already I needed to limit how much I can sightsee on foot. All this. I am SO not interested in walking this path down to the bitter end.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]

rubidium 7y ago

I sure hope that you’ve talked some 65+ year olds who are loving their life. Suffering is not the same as evil. With old age typically comes suffering. But my great grandma lived to be a 102 and loved her life to the end.

lallysingh 7y ago

Are you healthy? What keeps life from being more enjoyable?

prepend 7y ago

First, I really hope you reconsider as there are so many people you can help in the world. But I’m very curious your motivation to pay off your mortgage before death. What is driving that? I always thought mortgage payment was a stress as it is to me. But if I were to die then I wouldn’t need to care about mortgage. If anything, I would pay less mortgage and spend more liberally in my final 8 years. Perhaps 4 or even 5 international trips.

chx 7y ago
I want to leave a problem free inheritance to my nephew who is everything to me in this world.
- prepend 7y ago
  That’s pretty admirable and I understand now how an intact, debt-free house is a great gift. It’s probably not possible to have a direct conversation with your nephew for whether he would prefer a house or more than 8 years with his uncle, but I think if you explore this concept you might be able to determine his preference and that could lead to extending your plan by a few years. One of the things I really found helpful from family members, and I have an uncle like this, is the life advice I’ve received. I didn’t get financial help, but being able to run through scenarios and ask about business and life plans has been super helpful. Another person in my life died and left letters to be opened in case of certain events. Those letters are helpful, but very different from being able to learn from and interact.

dctoedt 7y ago

> Do not think I am suicidal or depressed I respect your view (and share your fear of decay), but please don't rule out depression; you might not be able to accurately diagnose yourself. A clergyman friend once said, after someone committed suicide, that depression is a disease that can be fatal.

klipklop 7y ago

This could be a case of moderate anosognosia? Living alone can be terrible for mental health. I know a guy around your age after a divorce decided to move in with some younger roommates in SV, even though he had plenty of money to live alone. He did this to stay socially engaged. EDIT: I recall there have been a few studies where people became more satisfied with their life as they aged. I hope this is the case for you.

downerending 7y ago

That's somewhat relatable. A few suggestions for your bucket list, though, if you haven't done them already: Learn to ride a motorcycle. More fun than you'd think. See an eclipse from the totality. More fun than you'd think. Get a dog. Maybe not quite as fun as it looks, but pretty fun. Go see an Above and Beyond show at one of the huge, outdoor festivals. More fun than you'd think. Take a cruise. Not being flippant here. I suspect that there are a few more things you could easily add to your bucket list that you might really enjoy.