4 ms·

If I may make a sincere criticism, as a person who knows nothing about either side of this conversation.... We should all delete "I'm sorry you feel that way"

If I may make a sincere criticism, as a person who knows nothing about either side of this conversation.... We should all delete "I'm sorry you feel that way" from our mental phrasebooks. It is a phrase that always falls flat, comes across as potentially sarcastic, and is the textbook definition of a non-apology apology. If you want to clarify something, go for it. If you don't want to apologize, don't feel obligated to do so. But please, for your own benefit, steer clear of this no-good phrase.

pc 7y ago
You're right! (Though I am.) I edited the comment.
- foo_llc 7y ago
  I guess your comment was not... pc enough.
echelon 7y ago
To be fair, this is the CEO personally reaching out. I think that's beyond awesome.
- jader201 7y ago
  While it’s nice to hear more context in response to the OP’s criticisms, I’m not sure I would consider a response mostly defending the criticisms “beyond awesome”. Most tech startups know the influence HN has, and to respond to a top post with a mostly defensive stance (vs. the OP points actually having an impact on the decisions being made) is a smart move on the part of the CEO (I would probably do the same thing). Just saying I wouldn’t have used the words “beyond awesome”.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
- ubu7737 7y ago
  Are you starstruck? Is that what you're trying to say?
- dontdoitpls 7y ago
  Yeah this is damage control. I recommended stripe to a friend because a hn (ad?) That mentioned the documentation was great. He struggled and I couldn't help him without a deep dive. To be fair, my WordPress website has no problem with stripe.
  - NicoJuicy 7y ago
    Damage control? The person is giving facts back. That is the exact idea why they receive a notification when you mention Stripe ;). Ps. I didn't have any problems with Stripe also, documentation was top notch
  - iratewizard 7y ago
    I've got to disagree on the stripe documentation. They set the bar for exemplary documentation.
    - NicoJuicy 7y ago
      > That mentioned the documentation was great ;)
      - iratewizard 7y ago
        Whoops, I completely misunderstood your post.
StavrosK 7y ago
Agreed, that phrase strikes me as without intrinsic meaning (though I can't say I ever grasped the meaning of "sorry" in the non-apology sense). It always seems to me like the person wants to say something that appears comforting without actually meaning anything, and seems disingenuous.
- EpicEng 7y ago
  >It always seems to me like the person wants to say something that appears comforting without actually meaning anything, and seems disingenuous. reply And most importantly, without admitting fault.
crusader76 7y ago
I think it’s an Irish thing, we’re always apologising for something! :)

pc 7y ago

You're right! (Though I am.) I edited the comment.

foo_llc 7y ago
I guess your comment was not... pc enough.

echelon 7y ago

To be fair, this is the CEO personally reaching out. I think that's beyond awesome.

jader201 7y ago
While it’s nice to hear more context in response to the OP’s criticisms, I’m not sure I would consider a response mostly defending the criticisms “beyond awesome”. Most tech startups know the influence HN has, and to respond to a top post with a mostly defensive stance (vs. the OP points actually having an impact on the decisions being made) is a smart move on the part of the CEO (I would probably do the same thing). Just saying I wouldn’t have used the words “beyond awesome”.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
ubu7737 7y ago
Are you starstruck? Is that what you're trying to say?
dontdoitpls 7y ago
Yeah this is damage control. I recommended stripe to a friend because a hn (ad?) That mentioned the documentation was great. He struggled and I couldn't help him without a deep dive. To be fair, my WordPress website has no problem with stripe.
- NicoJuicy 7y ago
  Damage control? The person is giving facts back. That is the exact idea why they receive a notification when you mention Stripe ;). Ps. I didn't have any problems with Stripe also, documentation was top notch
- iratewizard 7y ago
  I've got to disagree on the stripe documentation. They set the bar for exemplary documentation.
  - NicoJuicy 7y ago
    > That mentioned the documentation was great ;)
    - iratewizard 7y ago
      Whoops, I completely misunderstood your post.

StavrosK 7y ago

Agreed, that phrase strikes me as without intrinsic meaning (though I can't say I ever grasped the meaning of "sorry" in the non-apology sense). It always seems to me like the person wants to say something that appears comforting without actually meaning anything, and seems disingenuous.

EpicEng 7y ago
>It always seems to me like the person wants to say something that appears comforting without actually meaning anything, and seems disingenuous. reply And most importantly, without admitting fault.

crusader76 7y ago

I think it’s an Irish thing, we’re always apologising for something! :)