How do I securely communicate what the new email address is? How do I hide IP-level metadata? How do I hide time-level metadata? How do I do PFS? At some point

How do I securely communicate what the new email address is? How do I hide IP-level metadata? How do I hide time-level metadata? How do I do PFS? At some point you're going to keep adding lipstick to the pig until eventually you have something morally equivalent to the pathological example I gave.