4 ms·

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost

Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. The immediate cost of being alone is going down. We need to understand, no matter how much a person has read or introspected their behaviour or are kind at their heart - no one will every be able to live up to the expectations of millions of people on internet. This is why relationship advice on internet is such a joke, whenever anything happens, advice that's given to them is "leave this person, this person is abusive, manipulative, you deserve better". They follow the advice and end up alone and convince themselves that being alone is best. Now, about the people who want to pursue romantic interests,the game is soo different now. Long ago, girls from my town only dated local boys. They had to do with what's available to them locally but these days, one girl tells me that their boyfriend is coming to see them on weekend from Italy, while others boyfriend is coming from Greece, etc... Meanwhile men of town have drowned themselves in video games, porn and drinking/drugs because they've no meaningful relationships - they told me they feel like loser because girls aren't interested in them. Yes, the men they are with are wayy better than what's available locally. Better according to preference of those girls, not according to me. Can I blame women for choosing best available to them? No. Many guys will do same provided they had the opportunity. If romantic interests is not what you wanna pursue, it hardly matters if you are not very attractive - you can find plenty of people are church, at beach or anywhere where you see people. Finding people to spend time with us not difficult at all provided you can fulfill the minimum required to not put off the people. I am pretty sure when people say they are lonely - they are talking about absence of people in their life who care about them or make efforts to make them happy or go out of their way to make them feel special, cared for, treasured. Who doesn't want this? How technology can solve it?

fxtentacle 7y ago
There is also good relationship advice on the internet, but it probably won't be on hate-fueled platforms like Reddit or Facebook. And mainly, it is: - talk to people, both guys and girls - always stay curious to learn or try something new - always discourage comparing people. Nobody else can know all of your strength. And you will never know all the good points about the person you're judging. #1 will make you easy to be around #2 will make you interesting #3 will make you take the time to really get to know people Together that should do to find someone nice. But let's also talk about the other direction. Most local guys will see advertisements and hope for a nice and pretty girl. And compared with TV ads, most of the local girls will fall short. I mean even the model herself will look worse than her photoshopped images. So why should those guys put in full effort if there's no truly satisfying girl available locally?
TekMol 7y ago
May I ask where you are from? What confuses me about your post: Why do the girls of your town data guys from abroad but the guys do not date girls from abroad?
- DyslexicAtheist 7y ago
  pretty girls (without money) have access to a wide pool of potential candidates, while a charming boy without cash won't. This is what I see in Eastern Europe. Some towns are also dying because of this (the other reason is availability of jobs ofc)
- watwut 7y ago
  And also how many international long distance relationships are in the town. Especially compared to how many single guys are there. Given how hard it is to keep long term long distance relationship and additional complication of intercultural one, it is super unlikely that planes are flying there every weekend full of boyfriends.
watwut 7y ago
On the other hand, leaving abusive or manipulative person is a good idea - you are better off alone. And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner. No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers. Hardcore gamer culture is not the "you found a girl stop playing that much" culture. It is "you don't play enough you are weakling get gut looser, if girl stopping you from hobby she is bad partner" culture. Amd real life dating activities are boring compared to excitement of gane for gamers. Even if he wanted to stop instantly, it is trully hard.
- econcon 7y ago
  >And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner. That happened once they accepted that they'll find any relationship - everyone they were interested in, rejected them and they gave up. >No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers Do we always live for ourselves? Do we never try to live up to expectations of our family or friends? Or those who believe in us, being on our side in life?
  - watwut 7y ago
    This is simply false. Gamers don't start at 27 when they gave up on dating. They just keep playing more and more from pre-teenage years as social thing with friends. Nor do people start drink after they have been without partner for years. Instead, they are friends with peers and drink with them progressively. > Do we always live for ourselves? Do we never try to live up to expectations of our family or friends? Or those who believe in us, being on our side in life? Sure not. But what you want there is a person whose only role is to make you better by making you feel like she expects from you - without getting much in return. That is not how relationships work, both sides need to have their needs met. Both sides need the other side to give. Including girls.
1propionyl 7y ago
> Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. "I understand the human condition because I studied microeconomics, and other stories you can tell yourself at night." > How can technology solve it? Have you considered that maybe it can't? A power drill is a great tool. That doesn't mean it's well suited to every task.

fxtentacle 7y ago

There is also good relationship advice on the internet, but it probably won't be on hate-fueled platforms like Reddit or Facebook. And mainly, it is: - talk to people, both guys and girls - always stay curious to learn or try something new - always discourage comparing people. Nobody else can know all of your strength. And you will never know all the good points about the person you're judging. #1 will make you easy to be around #2 will make you interesting #3 will make you take the time to really get to know people Together that should do to find someone nice. But let's also talk about the other direction. Most local guys will see advertisements and hope for a nice and pretty girl. And compared with TV ads, most of the local girls will fall short. I mean even the model herself will look worse than her photoshopped images. So why should those guys put in full effort if there's no truly satisfying girl available locally?

TekMol 7y ago

May I ask where you are from? What confuses me about your post: Why do the girls of your town data guys from abroad but the guys do not date girls from abroad?

DyslexicAtheist 7y ago
pretty girls (without money) have access to a wide pool of potential candidates, while a charming boy without cash won't. This is what I see in Eastern Europe. Some towns are also dying because of this (the other reason is availability of jobs ofc)
watwut 7y ago
And also how many international long distance relationships are in the town. Especially compared to how many single guys are there. Given how hard it is to keep long term long distance relationship and additional complication of intercultural one, it is super unlikely that planes are flying there every weekend full of boyfriends.

watwut 7y ago

On the other hand, leaving abusive or manipulative person is a good idea - you are better off alone. And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner. No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers. Hardcore gamer culture is not the "you found a girl stop playing that much" culture. It is "you don't play enough you are weakling get gut looser, if girl stopping you from hobby she is bad partner" culture. Amd real life dating activities are boring compared to excitement of gane for gamers. Even if he wanted to stop instantly, it is trully hard.

econcon 7y ago
>And dating addicted gamer that also drinks or takes drugs sounds like special kind of hell. It would just make her suffer in bad relationship where she has no meaningfull companion and partner. That happened once they accepted that they'll find any relationship - everyone they were interested in, rejected them and they gave up. >No girl can cure any of these. And guys like this won't change after starting to date a girl - not for long. The idea that she will civilised him by her presence is bonkers Do we always live for ourselves? Do we never try to live up to expectations of our family or friends? Or those who believe in us, being on our side in life?
- watwut 7y ago
  This is simply false. Gamers don't start at 27 when they gave up on dating. They just keep playing more and more from pre-teenage years as social thing with friends. Nor do people start drink after they have been without partner for years. Instead, they are friends with peers and drink with them progressively. > Do we always live for ourselves? Do we never try to live up to expectations of our family or friends? Or those who believe in us, being on our side in life? Sure not. But what you want there is a person whose only role is to make you better by making you feel like she expects from you - without getting much in return. That is not how relationships work, both sides need to have their needs met. Both sides need the other side to give. Including girls.

1propionyl 7y ago

> Loneliness is because people have convinced themselves that the cost of being with someone is bigger than the reward of being with someone. "I understand the human condition because I studied microeconomics, and other stories you can tell yourself at night." > How can technology solve it? Have you considered that maybe it can't? A power drill is a great tool. That doesn't mean it's well suited to every task.