4 ms·
Your experiences don't translate well to anyone I've know who was bullied. I was bullied in junior high. I was told to stand up to the bullies, to defend myself
by greedo 7y ago
Your experiences don't translate well to anyone I've know who was bullied. I was bullied in junior high. I was told to stand up to the bullies, to defend myself. I was 5'6", 125lbs. The bullies (three of them) were all 50lbs heavier than me, and were on the football team. I stood up to them once. Kicked one in the balls. The other two, beat my ass and held me down til the third recovered; he beat on me for a good ten minutes. This went on for several years until they got bored with me and discovered girls.
Sucking it up and getting over it? Yeah, I sucked it up. But you don't get over something like that. At my current job, my boss is a type A manager who encourages "competition." I have a family to finish raising, so yes, I'm powerless to change my circumstances. I suck it up everyday for the paycheck, knowing that my kids are fed, my mortgage paid, and my retirement is being funded.
But to blithely state that people should suck it up and get over it minimizes the cost of that type of treatment. I have few friends, I'm incredibly cynical, and I'm probably a bad coworker since I have a sense of snark that I frequently voice.
- anonymousDan 7y agoFor what it's worth you should be proud of yourself for standing up to them. They on the other hand are absolute cowards.
- kortilla 7y ago> I have a family to finish raising, so yes, I'm powerless to change my circumstances. Where do you live that changing teams or changing employers can’t be done until you raise a family? No offense, but in every case I’ve heard someone use that explanation, it’s just been an excuse to avoid the effort of change.
- airstrike 7y agoAgreed. Unpopular opinion: few things are as detrimental to one's success as seeking comfort. Success is built on sweat, blood and tears.
- tomrod 7y agoAs someone who is satisfied with the success I've found in life -- you forgot a whole truckload of luck being involved. One of the few things I think Scott Adams has right when is he says we can influence our luck. But at the end we play odds, sometimes despite our sweat, blood, tears, and sometimes in spite of their lack.
- airstrike 7y agoI don't disagree. I thought about including luck, but thought that would take away from the things that we can actually control, and I wanted to contrast "seeking comfort" with "seeking sweat, blood and tears".
- lotsofpulp 7y agoSuccess can also be built with a rich family supporting you. Either rich family, or blood sweat, and tears, you always need luck on your side. But you can buy more luck if you have a rich family.
- david38 7y agoNot true. Most successful people come from successful families. They sought comfort for the basics so they didn’t have to worry about the game. Hard work is necessary for a lot, but it’s usually a low-cost-of-failure work. Failing at a startup usually means getting a well paid job.
- airstrike 7y ago> Most successful people come from successful families Define success. I think the better version of that sentence is "Most wealthy people come from wealthy families", but I'm not so sure about success.
- anoncake 7y agoWhy would you even want to be successful at something incompatible with comfort?
- greedo 7y agoNo offense taken. I live in the Midwest and work for a non-tech company. I'm also over 50, which drastically limits the jobs available. Changing to a different company would result in a lower salary, and arguably less stability. I'm consciously choosing a stable company until retirement. I had an opportunity to move to a smaller, more agile company when I was 40, but opted to stay put my wife through grad school as well as keep my kids in the same town.
- lallysingh 7y ago> knowing that my kids are fed, my mortgage paid, and my retirement is being funded. FWIW you have your priorities straight, and that counts for a lot.