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> Adulthood is a much more even playing field than childhood. You have resources ( > HR department, There to protect the company, not you and definitely not

by 77pt77 7y ago

> Adulthood is a much more even playing field than childhood. You have resources ( > HR department, There to protect the company, not you and definitely not to admit any kind of abuse because that is a liability > change jobs Looks very bad on your resume if done after a short period of time or frequently >change neighborhoods Makes you look shady and like you are dodging responsibility. Ties with the previous point. > police Comprised by mostly ex-bulies. I'm sure that will go well. > social services Here you face real repercussions for what will be seen as you not accepting your lot in life. > lawyers, etc...) As long as you have money... > And that sometimes means standing up for yourself. Remember: Appeasement never works.

reaperducer 7y ago
> HR department, There to protect the company, not you and definitely not to admit any kind of abuse because that is a liability If this was 1983, I might agree with you. But these days the vast majority of HR departments are there to protect the company from legal action brought by an unhappy employee or government agency acting on that employee's behalf. > change jobs Looks very bad on your resume if done after a short period of time or frequently Depends on your industry. In some industries, it's seen as climbing the ladder of success and that your skills are in demand. >change neighborhoods Makes you look shady and like you are dodging responsibility. I have no idea where this comes from. Maybe you're from a small European town? I've seen estimates that 30% of Americans move each year. I've lived in almost two dozen homes in 15 cities in a dozen states in my life. Everywhere from small towns under 3,000 to New York City. The longest I've ever lived anywhere is four years. Most often, I would move each year. I never heard anything along those lines from landlords, neighbors, or employers. I moved just a few months ago and all the landlord cared about was whether I'd filed for bankruptcy in the last 18 months, if I'd been evicted in the last four years, and the size of my paycheck. > police Comprised by mostly ex-bulies. I'm sure that will go well. Now you're just grasping at straws. But it's OK, I understand. People who are being bullied will grasp on to any excuse they can to keep themselves from changing their lives. It's normal. But you have to understand the difference between reasons and excuses, and how making excuses for your situation in life can prevent change.
- 77pt77 7y ago
  >Now you're just making things up. But it's OK, I understand. People who are being bullied will grasp on to any excuse they can to keep themselves from changing their lives Nice ad-hominem. I'm not being bullied but I've seen many of these scenarios playing out in real life. Your victim blaming is now here in full display for anyone to see.
- tristor 7y ago
  I've experienced one side of this and seen the other side of it first-hand. I am the guy that stuck up for myself, both in middle school and high school, and as an adult. Police got involved many times, I was punished despite everyone involved agreeing I had acted in self-defense. I was unable at the time to afford adequate legal representation and the only advocates I had sided with the government/police. Later in life I had similar situations but was wealthy enough to afford adequate legal representation and things went much better for me. I've also observed a friend of mine being bullied as a kid, a teenager, and then as an adult go to the police because that's what he was taught/told by his parents. As a child they did nothing and made the situation worse by causing the bullies too know he'd reported them without actually taking any action to improve things. As a teenager they bullied him too, called him weak, basically told him he deserved it. As an adult, he was arrested and charged although the charges were dropped because all his wounds were defensive, because the bully was a woman. The police, at least in the US, are not your friend. Most cops are ex-bullies or current bullies. Many people join the police force explicitly because the badge allows them to cover up their own misbehavior and empowers them with impunity in their actions. Don't be so ignorant as to believe otherwise, the evidence is plain and available for all to see, and anecdotes support it much more viscerally. But, yes, thank you for your victim blaming narrative. As if someone is making up cops being bullies... as if.

by 77pt77 7y ago

reaperducer 7y ago

> HR department, There to protect the company, not you and definitely not to admit any kind of abuse because that is a liability If this was 1983, I might agree with you. But these days the vast majority of HR departments are there to protect the company from legal action brought by an unhappy employee or government agency acting on that employee's behalf. > change jobs Looks very bad on your resume if done after a short period of time or frequently Depends on your industry. In some industries, it's seen as climbing the ladder of success and that your skills are in demand. >change neighborhoods Makes you look shady and like you are dodging responsibility. I have no idea where this comes from. Maybe you're from a small European town? I've seen estimates that 30% of Americans move each year. I've lived in almost two dozen homes in 15 cities in a dozen states in my life. Everywhere from small towns under 3,000 to New York City. The longest I've ever lived anywhere is four years. Most often, I would move each year. I never heard anything along those lines from landlords, neighbors, or employers. I moved just a few months ago and all the landlord cared about was whether I'd filed for bankruptcy in the last 18 months, if I'd been evicted in the last four years, and the size of my paycheck. > police Comprised by mostly ex-bulies. I'm sure that will go well. Now you're just grasping at straws. But it's OK, I understand. People who are being bullied will grasp on to any excuse they can to keep themselves from changing their lives. It's normal. But you have to understand the difference between reasons and excuses, and how making excuses for your situation in life can prevent change.

77pt77 7y ago
>Now you're just making things up. But it's OK, I understand. People who are being bullied will grasp on to any excuse they can to keep themselves from changing their lives Nice ad-hominem. I'm not being bullied but I've seen many of these scenarios playing out in real life. Your victim blaming is now here in full display for anyone to see.
tristor 7y ago
I've experienced one side of this and seen the other side of it first-hand. I am the guy that stuck up for myself, both in middle school and high school, and as an adult. Police got involved many times, I was punished despite everyone involved agreeing I had acted in self-defense. I was unable at the time to afford adequate legal representation and the only advocates I had sided with the government/police. Later in life I had similar situations but was wealthy enough to afford adequate legal representation and things went much better for me. I've also observed a friend of mine being bullied as a kid, a teenager, and then as an adult go to the police because that's what he was taught/told by his parents. As a child they did nothing and made the situation worse by causing the bullies too know he'd reported them without actually taking any action to improve things. As a teenager they bullied him too, called him weak, basically told him he deserved it. As an adult, he was arrested and charged although the charges were dropped because all his wounds were defensive, because the bully was a woman. The police, at least in the US, are not your friend. Most cops are ex-bullies or current bullies. Many people join the police force explicitly because the badge allows them to cover up their own misbehavior and empowers them with impunity in their actions. Don't be so ignorant as to believe otherwise, the evidence is plain and available for all to see, and anecdotes support it much more viscerally. But, yes, thank you for your victim blaming narrative. As if someone is making up cops being bullies... as if.