4 ms·
That's a very insighful comment. One of my ex's (who was otherwise a rather terrible person) absolutely poured herself into making sure that her daughters were
by downerending 7y ago
That's a very insighful comment. One of my ex's (who was otherwise a rather terrible person) absolutely poured herself into making sure that her daughters were well-liked and did well in this game. I think it's one of the best things she's done.
- throwawayhhakdl 7y agoI had a male friend with a mother that did that. As a child I didn’t recognize it, but as it was explained to me in adulthood, the reason he played guitar, got quarterback lessons, and started to hang out in groups with cooler kids (or at least larger and larger groups of kids) was because his mother was orchestrating the whole thing to make him more popular. I’m pretty sure that put enormous pressure on him and filled him with anxieties. Last I heard he dropped out of undergrad, and his sisters all look like they have eating disorders. I wouldn’t try to touch my kid’s social status with a ten foot pole, aside from perhaps ensuring they have at least an average level of wealth relative to their peers. If anything popularity needs to be downplayed
- jvm___ 7y agoHow do you practically put this into effect? What steps can you take to help the kids without being a helicopter or intrusive patient.
- thundergolfer 7y agoAt least in Australia, being great at sport is a pretty reliable way to being popular as a teenager. You have to get kids into sport much earlier than middle school though to get them great.
- downerending 7y agoFor starters, make sure that they're reasonably groomed and dressed in whatever the current style is. I didn't have this and paid a large price. Encourage them to take up sports, or whatever group activity. Meet their friends parents and maybe host a Haloween party, etc. You can't do it all, but definitely you can do some.