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Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. Had you instead said "hey, this is a dangerous road to walk on, would you like a lift to the end

Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. Had you instead said "hey, this is a dangerous road to walk on, would you like a lift to the end?" The chances are that she would have refused but your chances that she took something away from the conversation would have been much higher.

WalterBright 7y ago
> Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. Yup. On the other hand, I did some foolish things on the road myself when I was younger, and got an angry lecture from a stranger. I didn't take it well at first, but eventually realized he was right and I changed my ways. > your chances Maybe. Or maybe offering her a lift would have raised her suspicion that I had something other than her welfare in mind, and my point would have been lost. As it happened, when I said that suing me wouldn't have helped if she was dead, her look of surprise at that indicated I had made a point.
loco5niner 7y ago
> Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. I imagine the people who need a lecture in public are the same ones who do not receive feedback/advice very well. This is a problem on the receiving end. > "hey, this is a dangerous road to walk on, would you like a lift to the end?" You are advising an adult male to offer a ride to an adult female who he is a stranger to? She doesn't know him from Adam and should NOT accept that offer. Not walking in the middle of the road and not accepting rides from strangers are things people should be taught as children.
- VBprogrammer 7y ago
  If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice to someone I didn't know, I would feel responsible for their safety if I didn't offer them a lift. Besides, a world where well intentioned people self-censor themselves from being kind to strangers is a bit self-fulfilling isn't it? Driving your 2 ton metal box in a way which doesn't endanger the lives of others, especially children, would also be a good lesson to teach to children. In fact since it is a vastly more real danger than "stranger danger" it probably do more good.
  - loco5niner 7y ago
    > If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice... The situation was not dangerous, her actions were dangerous. > Driving your 2 ton metal box in a way which doesn't endanger the lives of others, especially children, would also be a good lesson to teach to children Absolutely. And this is NOT the case here. > In fact since it is a vastly more real danger than "stranger danger" it probably do more good. Why not both?
    - VBprogrammer 7y ago
      > The situation was not dangerous, her actions were dangerous. A situation cannot be simultaneously dangerous and not dangerous. Perhaps her actions caused the situation to be dangerous but surely you wouldn't hold that against her child? I say this as someone who rides motorcycles, drives a car and even a Japanese import campervan, the driver of a vehicle is the one in charge of a potentially lethal machine. One of the first lessons you should learn as a driver is to be able to stop in the distance you can see to be clear ahead, if you do that then the chances of having to swearve to avoid people walking in the lane or having to think about the consequence of killing a mother and child are practically nil. That is what I mean by driving responsibly. Anyway, I fear the cultural gulf here is too great.
      - loco5niner 7y ago
        > A situation cannot be simultaneously dangerous and not dangerous. I didn't say that. I said her actions were dangerous. It was in response to your comment: > If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice to someone I didn't know, I would feel responsible for their safety if I didn't offer them a lift. If there is a sidewalk she can safely walk on, that is a not-dangerous situation, and and there is no need to offer her a lift. If she chooses to instead walk in the middle of the road, that changes the situation. > the driver of a vehicle is the one in charge of a potentially lethal machine Agreed. Again, there is nothing in this thread stating otherwise. My point is that pedestrians need to walk responsibly as well. > the chances of having to swearve to avoid people walking in the lane or having to think about the consequence of killing a mother and child are practically nil. I think you are being too optimistic here.

WalterBright 7y ago

> Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. Yup. On the other hand, I did some foolish things on the road myself when I was younger, and got an angry lecture from a stranger. I didn't take it well at first, but eventually realized he was right and I changed my ways. > your chances Maybe. Or maybe offering her a lift would have raised her suspicion that I had something other than her welfare in mind, and my point would have been lost. As it happened, when I said that suing me wouldn't have helped if she was dead, her look of surprise at that indicated I had made a point.

loco5niner 7y ago

> Stopping to lecture an adult in public is rarely well received. I imagine the people who need a lecture in public are the same ones who do not receive feedback/advice very well. This is a problem on the receiving end. > "hey, this is a dangerous road to walk on, would you like a lift to the end?" You are advising an adult male to offer a ride to an adult female who he is a stranger to? She doesn't know him from Adam and should NOT accept that offer. Not walking in the middle of the road and not accepting rides from strangers are things people should be taught as children.

VBprogrammer 7y ago
If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice to someone I didn't know, I would feel responsible for their safety if I didn't offer them a lift. Besides, a world where well intentioned people self-censor themselves from being kind to strangers is a bit self-fulfilling isn't it? Driving your 2 ton metal box in a way which doesn't endanger the lives of others, especially children, would also be a good lesson to teach to children. In fact since it is a vastly more real danger than "stranger danger" it probably do more good.
- loco5niner 7y ago
  > If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice... The situation was not dangerous, her actions were dangerous. > Driving your 2 ton metal box in a way which doesn't endanger the lives of others, especially children, would also be a good lesson to teach to children Absolutely. And this is NOT the case here. > In fact since it is a vastly more real danger than "stranger danger" it probably do more good. Why not both?
  - VBprogrammer 7y ago
    > The situation was not dangerous, her actions were dangerous. A situation cannot be simultaneously dangerous and not dangerous. Perhaps her actions caused the situation to be dangerous but surely you wouldn't hold that against her child? I say this as someone who rides motorcycles, drives a car and even a Japanese import campervan, the driver of a vehicle is the one in charge of a potentially lethal machine. One of the first lessons you should learn as a driver is to be able to stop in the distance you can see to be clear ahead, if you do that then the chances of having to swearve to avoid people walking in the lane or having to think about the consequence of killing a mother and child are practically nil. That is what I mean by driving responsibly. Anyway, I fear the cultural gulf here is too great.
    - loco5niner 7y ago
      > A situation cannot be simultaneously dangerous and not dangerous. I didn't say that. I said her actions were dangerous. It was in response to your comment: > If I felt it was so dangerous that I needed to stop and offer unsolicited advice to someone I didn't know, I would feel responsible for their safety if I didn't offer them a lift. If there is a sidewalk she can safely walk on, that is a not-dangerous situation, and and there is no need to offer her a lift. If she chooses to instead walk in the middle of the road, that changes the situation. > the driver of a vehicle is the one in charge of a potentially lethal machine Agreed. Again, there is nothing in this thread stating otherwise. My point is that pedestrians need to walk responsibly as well. > the chances of having to swearve to avoid people walking in the lane or having to think about the consequence of killing a mother and child are practically nil. I think you are being too optimistic here.