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Do something that directly benefits you AND fulfills a cultural expectation is not exactly being open-minded.

by epx 7y ago

CrazyStat 7y ago
Marrying a lower-earning woman (one with a less-demanding career who can be the primary caretaker of children and home) also directly benefits men.
- epx 7y ago
  Are you in such an arrangement, to be able to tell that? If so, can you detail the benefits? Let's see if our impressions overlap in any degree.
  - CrazyStat 7y ago
    I'm on the other side of that arrangement. When we got married my wife and I were both on demanding, competitive career tracks. We both made significant sacrifices when we had our first child, but stayed on the same paths. When we decided we wanted to have a second child we looked at the situation and decided the best option was for me to put my career on hold and be the primary caretaker. There were a number of reasons for that decision, including differences between our fields (it would be much, much harder for my wife to restart her career after a prolonged break) and my own dissatisfaction with the job I was in at the time. We looked at full-time childcare but for the quality of care we wanted in our city it would have been over half my pre-tax salary for the two kids, so it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Anyway, I'm primarily a stay-at-home dad now. I still do a little work here and there on a temporary/contract basis but my wife earns over 10x what I do annually. I take care of the kids, plan and prepare meals, wash dishes, do laundry, clean the house, buy groceries, take care of home maintenance, and generally keep our lives running. When a kid is up crying in the middle of the night I walk them to sleep. When someone's sick I take care of them and take them to the doctor if necessary. When my wife forgets something at home I load the kids in the car and take it to her at work. When the kids are a bit older and don't need constant adult supervision I'll probably go back to work, perhaps part time or in a work-from-home arrangement at first. Eventually I expect I'll go back to normal full time employment. Unlike my wife's field I don't expect to have any great difficulty getting back into my career, though obviously I'll be years behind my former colleagues on the promotion track and probably lost any chance of reaching the highest levels of my profession. I never really cared about that anyway though so it doesn't bother me.

Do something that directly benefits you AND fulfills a cultural expectation is not exactly being open-minded.

by epx 7y ago

Do something that directly benefits you AND fulfills a cultural expectation is not exactly being open-minded.

Marrying a lower-earning woman (one with a less-demanding career who can be the primary caretaker of children and home) also directly benefits men.

epx 7y ago
Are you in such an arrangement, to be able to tell that? If so, can you detail the benefits? Let's see if our impressions overlap in any degree.
- CrazyStat 7y ago
  I'm on the other side of that arrangement. When we got married my wife and I were both on demanding, competitive career tracks. We both made significant sacrifices when we had our first child, but stayed on the same paths. When we decided we wanted to have a second child we looked at the situation and decided the best option was for me to put my career on hold and be the primary caretaker. There were a number of reasons for that decision, including differences between our fields (it would be much, much harder for my wife to restart her career after a prolonged break) and my own dissatisfaction with the job I was in at the time. We looked at full-time childcare but for the quality of care we wanted in our city it would have been over half my pre-tax salary for the two kids, so it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Anyway, I'm primarily a stay-at-home dad now. I still do a little work here and there on a temporary/contract basis but my wife earns over 10x what I do annually. I take care of the kids, plan and prepare meals, wash dishes, do laundry, clean the house, buy groceries, take care of home maintenance, and generally keep our lives running. When a kid is up crying in the middle of the night I walk them to sleep. When someone's sick I take care of them and take them to the doctor if necessary. When my wife forgets something at home I load the kids in the car and take it to her at work. When the kids are a bit older and don't need constant adult supervision I'll probably go back to work, perhaps part time or in a work-from-home arrangement at first. Eventually I expect I'll go back to normal full time employment. Unlike my wife's field I don't expect to have any great difficulty getting back into my career, though obviously I'll be years behind my former colleagues on the promotion track and probably lost any chance of reaching the highest levels of my profession. I never really cared about that anyway though so it doesn't bother me.