I always find this sort of "Just don't have your mind work like that then." response to be almost completely inane motivational poster sloganeering. If I could

I always find this sort of "Just don't have your mind work like that then." response to be almost completely inane motivational poster sloganeering. If I could choose what annoys me, I'd love to just not pick anything. I'd love to have the sort of self-control to not feel anything that would make me miserable, and maybe you've reached that point of self-consciousness, but that's not just a switch people can flip. It's the same family of responses as telling someone to just "not be depressed by your situation anymore and be happy with what you have" In addition, we're not talking here about how to specifically deal with one person. I've had plenty of friends with annoying habits, and I have managed to mostly ignore their behavior and just live my life. What we're discussing is the more general case - is it ethical to impose this sort of thing on someone else without their agreement/consent. I can both think that my old roommates should have cleaned the kitchen more as a matter of cleanliness and fairness AND have gotten to the point where it didn't bother me that much that I had to clean for them. My ability to not be bothered by it, and to put my friendship ahead of specific annoyances doesn't excuse behavior that makes doing so harder for their selfish reasons. "Judging people for their actions" isn't the same as shunning them or wanting them dead. Any sort of anti-social behavior that asks for things from other people is going to trigger some sort of judgement or response. Often it will just be ignoring it or helping the person out, and that's fine, but that's part of the calculus of choosing it. You've decided the social cost of asking for other peoples phones is worth the personal moral/ethical/security gains of not having one yourself. Depending on how you approach it and how much you mitigate the asks of others will determine how people judge you on it.