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Another good example of this sort of behavior - I know someone who doesn't carry any credit cards and prefers to pay cash for everything where possible. This is

Another good example of this sort of behavior - I know someone who doesn't carry any credit cards and prefers to pay cash for everything where possible. This is generally fine, however, since they're responsible enough to be carrying plenty of cash to cover whatever they need. It would be quite annoying if they constantly only had $5 in their wallet and needed their friends to cover for them with a card whenever we went out. I can respect the position they're taking, but you've chosen to interact with the modern world in ways that are unexpected and more difficult in some ways. In return, I expect you to think through those obstacles and solve them yourself. If you ask me ahead of time if I can pay for something, or use my phone, that's totally reasonable. Just going through life assuming that it's a thing isn't thoughtful or respectful of my personal limits.

guidance 7y ago
But in the example given, it wasn't the boyfriend who was always borrowing his girlfriend's phone to call his mom; it was his mom calling to contact him. Probably because she's also yet another one of those types who Just Can't Understand Why Someone Wouldn't Have A Phone. And yet he's the one imposing on others? I'm sure he would be perfectly fine with her not calling at all, and just speaking with her the next time he sees her, the way 95% of humans on the planet are perfectly capable of doing. But she chooses to not respect his very wise and very reasonable mode of living, and you choose to see that as being his fault somehow.
- noirbot 7y ago
  It can be multiple people's fault. If he knows it will upset his parents to not be able to call him, and at this point clearly knows that they're going to bother his friends instead, that's still a decision he's making. He could tell his friends to just block the number/ignore it, or talk to his parents about not contacting him. Sure, if his mom is stalking him and harassing his friends, that's her fault/problem, but that doesn't mean it's not a burden on his friends. I'd be more sympathetic for sure towards his situation then. I live tens of hours away from my parents right now. Calling them is how I get/keep in touch with them. If I decided to get rid of my phone, I'd be sure to come to some sort of other solution that would be acceptable to them and not just cut them off. The issue is he presumably knows that his parents are like this and want to stay in touch with him. If he can't convince them to use email/skype/whatever else, then that's his issue to manage. He's not entitled to push that off onto his friends just because his parents are unreasonable. Either deal with your parents unreasonable demands by having a basic burner phone, or tell all your friends to just not pick up/blacklist it. To me, is like if you decided you were worried about the environment and started biking everywhere. I can respect that as a decision, but it doesn't mean it's not imposing on me to always be showing up to things late because you haven't adjusted to how long it takes to bike places.

guidance 7y ago

But in the example given, it wasn't the boyfriend who was always borrowing his girlfriend's phone to call his mom; it was his mom calling to contact him. Probably because she's also yet another one of those types who Just Can't Understand Why Someone Wouldn't Have A Phone. And yet he's the one imposing on others? I'm sure he would be perfectly fine with her not calling at all, and just speaking with her the next time he sees her, the way 95% of humans on the planet are perfectly capable of doing. But she chooses to not respect his very wise and very reasonable mode of living, and you choose to see that as being his fault somehow.

noirbot 7y ago
It can be multiple people's fault. If he knows it will upset his parents to not be able to call him, and at this point clearly knows that they're going to bother his friends instead, that's still a decision he's making. He could tell his friends to just block the number/ignore it, or talk to his parents about not contacting him. Sure, if his mom is stalking him and harassing his friends, that's her fault/problem, but that doesn't mean it's not a burden on his friends. I'd be more sympathetic for sure towards his situation then. I live tens of hours away from my parents right now. Calling them is how I get/keep in touch with them. If I decided to get rid of my phone, I'd be sure to come to some sort of other solution that would be acceptable to them and not just cut them off. The issue is he presumably knows that his parents are like this and want to stay in touch with him. If he can't convince them to use email/skype/whatever else, then that's his issue to manage. He's not entitled to push that off onto his friends just because his parents are unreasonable. Either deal with your parents unreasonable demands by having a basic burner phone, or tell all your friends to just not pick up/blacklist it. To me, is like if you decided you were worried about the environment and started biking everywhere. I can respect that as a decision, but it doesn't mean it's not imposing on me to always be showing up to things late because you haven't adjusted to how long it takes to bike places.