Why would the onus be on the offendee? The person making the request or giving the feedback is the person that has the most opportunity to choose their method o

Why would the onus be on the offendee? The person making the request or giving the feedback is the person that has the most opportunity to choose their method of affect their communication. The receiver has very little choice, except sucking it up stoically. If you really want to communicate an idea, it's in your own best interest to adapt your approach to the listener.