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I have a friend of mine who flat out refuses to give email address or any contact info of the people I meet at his house. It has been a bit annoying one time or

I have a friend of mine who flat out refuses to give email address or any contact info of the people I meet at his house. It has been a bit annoying one time or two. Phone numbers used to be really public. As in "Someone has collected your phone number, your address and family name and put it in this huge book they update every year. And they drop a copy of this book on everybody's porch.".

mosselman 7y ago
This is completely correct behaviour if you ask me. So you met me at someone's house, so what, it gives you the right to contact me? You could always ask your friend to relay a message right?
- johnchristopher 7y ago
  These people I have been seeing them at his house on numerous occasions, we are on a first name basis and open jokes. It's not like I had glimpsed someone's shoulders and wanted to cold call them to pitch them my startup idea of the week or creepily ask for a date (I remember it was to follow through with a conversation about DIY hydroponic with one and coffee brewing with another). Friend got tired of relaying messages at some point :). We rarely got to the point of giving out contact information on the moment though (that was the flow of those meetings and I think it's not a cultural thing to exchange business card in such settings in my country). Also, we are not the kind of people to hang on facebook, so discovery is weak. Totally agree it is correct behaviour with strangers though. And it was only a minor annoyance at some point so well... no biggie. (Except that time he divorced and he wouldn't give me his ex-wife's number so I could get back some DVD she had borrowed) edit: also, I wouldn't ask for contact info if I wasn't confident that it was okay for the person to get a call from me and I am confident that my friend knows I won't mess up things by being inappropriate.
  - ebrenes 7y ago
    Why not just ask the people directly for their contact information? Or vice versa ask your friend to ask them if it's okay to hand out your contact information? I've had several friends ask if it's okay to give out my contact information to third parties who were interested in acquiring this information to continue conversations through more private channels. But there was always an element of consent involved on my part.
  - mosselman 7y ago
    I see where you are coming from. I just meant as a general rule it is better to not give out people’s information. The message your friend could have relayed could have been “hey is it ok if I get your contact info?”. What your friend isn’t getting right is that maybe you and his friends DO want to contact each other. He is deciding for both parties that they don’t. He could adjust his behaviour on that front a bit.
u801e 7y ago
> I have a friend of mine who flat out refuses to give email address or any contact info of the people I meet at his house. Is there a reason you do not ask those people for their contact information directly?

mosselman 7y ago

This is completely correct behaviour if you ask me. So you met me at someone's house, so what, it gives you the right to contact me? You could always ask your friend to relay a message right?

johnchristopher 7y ago
These people I have been seeing them at his house on numerous occasions, we are on a first name basis and open jokes. It's not like I had glimpsed someone's shoulders and wanted to cold call them to pitch them my startup idea of the week or creepily ask for a date (I remember it was to follow through with a conversation about DIY hydroponic with one and coffee brewing with another). Friend got tired of relaying messages at some point :). We rarely got to the point of giving out contact information on the moment though (that was the flow of those meetings and I think it's not a cultural thing to exchange business card in such settings in my country). Also, we are not the kind of people to hang on facebook, so discovery is weak. Totally agree it is correct behaviour with strangers though. And it was only a minor annoyance at some point so well... no biggie. (Except that time he divorced and he wouldn't give me his ex-wife's number so I could get back some DVD she had borrowed) edit: also, I wouldn't ask for contact info if I wasn't confident that it was okay for the person to get a call from me and I am confident that my friend knows I won't mess up things by being inappropriate.
- ebrenes 7y ago
  Why not just ask the people directly for their contact information? Or vice versa ask your friend to ask them if it's okay to hand out your contact information? I've had several friends ask if it's okay to give out my contact information to third parties who were interested in acquiring this information to continue conversations through more private channels. But there was always an element of consent involved on my part.
- mosselman 7y ago
  I see where you are coming from. I just meant as a general rule it is better to not give out people’s information. The message your friend could have relayed could have been “hey is it ok if I get your contact info?”. What your friend isn’t getting right is that maybe you and his friends DO want to contact each other. He is deciding for both parties that they don’t. He could adjust his behaviour on that front a bit.

u801e 7y ago

> I have a friend of mine who flat out refuses to give email address or any contact info of the people I meet at his house. Is there a reason you do not ask those people for their contact information directly?