2 ms·

What you seem to propose - calling/etc to establish that you want to cancel only if they do too - isn't a real mode of communication though. People are generall

What you seem to propose - calling/etc to establish that you want to cancel only if they do too - isn't a real mode of communication though. People are generally sufficiently polite that if you tell them that, they will cancel the plans even if they were looking forward to it. I agree that an app to solve this seems a bit overblown, but it does address a real thing which regular communication cannot. Communication skills aren't the issue, base human politeness is.

bigiain 7y ago
I guess it depends on how direct you want/need to be. I reckon I send a "hey, we still on for tonight?" message to sound the other person out about how keen they are approximately once or twice a month maybe? (Also, I feel there's possibly an unstated thing going on here. If the only decider about whether or not you are going to go out tonight is being able to identify with reasonable certainty that the other person is (or is not) considering "bailing" on you, there could well be stuff going on that means going out tonight is 100% the right thing for you to do. Depression is a sneaky bastard, the way it makes you think sitting on your couch and arguing on the internet is a better way to spend your evening that grabbing drinks/movie/dinner/walk/shooting-pool with a friend. Even your friend _was_ vaguely considering bailing on you, it's super likely that spending time with them is a way better way to be happy than ditching them... Possibly for both of you.)
- wyattpeak 7y ago
  No, you're probably right. "Are we on for tonight" is within a rounding error of what I was talking about. I think the depression is a reasonable call. I think a lot of people also feel altogether too concerned about others' wants at the expense of their own. Both of those probably don't need an app to encourage them.

2 ms·

What you seem to propose - calling/etc to establish that you want to cancel only if they do too - isn't a real mode of communication though. People are generall

by wyattpeak 7y ago

bigiain 7y ago
I guess it depends on how direct you want/need to be. I reckon I send a "hey, we still on for tonight?" message to sound the other person out about how keen they are approximately once or twice a month maybe? (Also, I feel there's possibly an unstated thing going on here. If the only decider about whether or not you are going to go out tonight is being able to identify with reasonable certainty that the other person is (or is not) considering "bailing" on you, there could well be stuff going on that means going out tonight is 100% the right thing for you to do. Depression is a sneaky bastard, the way it makes you think sitting on your couch and arguing on the internet is a better way to spend your evening that grabbing drinks/movie/dinner/walk/shooting-pool with a friend. Even your friend _was_ vaguely considering bailing on you, it's super likely that spending time with them is a way better way to be happy than ditching them... Possibly for both of you.)
- wyattpeak 7y ago
  No, you're probably right. "Are we on for tonight" is within a rounding error of what I was talking about. I think the depression is a reasonable call. I think a lot of people also feel altogether too concerned about others' wants at the expense of their own. Both of those probably don't need an app to encourage them.