4 ms·

Still Struggling with Social Networking

13 points by prakash 18y ago

bkovitz 18y ago
This guy sounds like a nerd, as Paul Graham describes nerds: oblivious to the social strategies that normal people use to become popular. Nearly everything posted on Myspace is meaningless fluff. You'll notice that most conversations at bars are meaningless fluff. It's just a way to plug in socially. Most important is displaying how many friends you have, both at singles bars and on Myspace. The more friends you have, the more popular you are, and therefore the more people want to be friends with you. A T-shirt that came out a few years ago: "Tom is my only friend." This is a way of saying "loser" in the mindset of the socially savvy.
m0nty 18y ago
"years after these sites have become the leading destinations on the Web, I still don't get it. I don't have that visceral, gut understanding of the attraction and benefits of these services" Same thing here; I just don't get it. But my theory is this: I have friends I see regularly and we keep in touch, talk about the big things in life and (for a few of these guys) they're basically like brothers to me. I have maybe a dozen other people I like to keep in touch with, and a dozen others who I get on with but rarely see. I think some people like to think they have hundreds of friends, but it's a different definition of "friend" -- more like my category of "people I get on with but rarely see". Emailing, phoning or (heaven forfend) going out places with those people probably won't happen too often, but keeping a page on a social networking site allows you to keep in touch without too much effort or appearing a bit creepy by emailing or phoning too often. I still don't "get it" on a visceral level but I can see why some people want to do that. Summary: if you have loose connections to many people, use Facebook or MySpace. If you have more intense relationships with a few people, don't.
noelchurchill 18y ago
Facebook is useful if you have enough friends to connect with. If you're struggling with it (and you want to "get it") then you need to meat some new people, probably younger people, who have real social lives in the real world. These are the people who add value to facebook by posting pictures, sharing their lives, and planning their next friday night out with friends. It's just another medium for communication. I'm sure there were people who didn't "get" the telephone because they thought "everyone I know is within a couple minute walk from me. why would I need a telephone to call them?" And I'm not saying Facebook is as revolutionary as the telephone but it does enable you to communicate with a greater number of people in a more efficient means. But if you don't see the point, then you probably don't have many people to communicate with.

13 points by prakash 18y ago

This guy sounds like a nerd, as Paul Graham describes nerds: oblivious to the social strategies that normal people use to become popular. Nearly everything posted on Myspace is meaningless fluff. You'll notice that most conversations at bars are meaningless fluff. It's just a way to plug in socially. Most important is displaying how many friends you have, both at singles bars and on Myspace. The more friends you have, the more popular you are, and therefore the more people want to be friends with you. A T-shirt that came out a few years ago: "Tom is my only friend." This is a way of saying "loser" in the mindset of the socially savvy.

m0nty 18y ago

"years after these sites have become the leading destinations on the Web, I still don't get it. I don't have that visceral, gut understanding of the attraction and benefits of these services" Same thing here; I just don't get it. But my theory is this: I have friends I see regularly and we keep in touch, talk about the big things in life and (for a few of these guys) they're basically like brothers to me. I have maybe a dozen other people I like to keep in touch with, and a dozen others who I get on with but rarely see. I think some people like to think they have hundreds of friends, but it's a different definition of "friend" -- more like my category of "people I get on with but rarely see". Emailing, phoning or (heaven forfend) going out places with those people probably won't happen too often, but keeping a page on a social networking site allows you to keep in touch without too much effort or appearing a bit creepy by emailing or phoning too often. I still don't "get it" on a visceral level but I can see why some people want to do that. Summary: if you have loose connections to many people, use Facebook or MySpace. If you have more intense relationships with a few people, don't.

noelchurchill 18y ago

Facebook is useful if you have enough friends to connect with. If you're struggling with it (and you want to "get it") then you need to meat some new people, probably younger people, who have real social lives in the real world. These are the people who add value to facebook by posting pictures, sharing their lives, and planning their next friday night out with friends. It's just another medium for communication. I'm sure there were people who didn't "get" the telephone because they thought "everyone I know is within a couple minute walk from me. why would I need a telephone to call them?" And I'm not saying Facebook is as revolutionary as the telephone but it does enable you to communicate with a greater number of people in a more efficient means. But if you don't see the point, then you probably don't have many people to communicate with.