And yet, some people are able to live remarkably "weird" lives, influence and change their communities, and not feel like they have to relegate their appearance

And yet, some people are able to live remarkably "weird" lives, influence and change their communities, and not feel like they have to relegate their appearance to "bland tech office drone" because they choose to be passionate about some number of topics and they used up all their "weirdness points" and have none to delegate to appearance. Life isn't the Skyrim avatar creator--passion isn't measured in points, and passion is what begets structural change.