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> Tinder isn't about "mating", it's about hook-ups (primarily) You can separate sex from mating in your conscious mind but most of your mind is not conscious.

> Tinder isn't about "mating", it's about hook-ups (primarily) You can separate sex from mating in your conscious mind but most of your mind is not conscious. Your view of human behavior is overly simplistic/idealized. We don't choose what we find attractive and most of what motivates us are chemical systems that are beyond our understanding. You can consciously posit that sex is "something pleasurable that people do to feel good" but that's how not how you, or anyone, really feels about sex if you go even an inch below the surface. > This is obviously fallacious. Women and men often both desire very smiliar things in a relationship, known as the ability to reciprocate. Whether that's emotional support, working a job, or giving oral sex. "The ability to reciprocate" is a pretty broad category. What men find attractive in women is very different from what women find attractive in men. If you want to learn about what women find attractive in men, there's a billion dollar industry that caters to women's fantasies. Read Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, or nearly any romance novel.

claudiawerner 7y ago
>You can separate sex from mating in your conscious mind but most of your mind is not conscious. It is one thing to say that we are driven to sex because of the unconscious desire to reproduce; it is another thing to say that, even unconsciously, a woman would like her Tinder hook-up to impregnate her, and further that it's someone she'd raise a child with (and vice versa, obviously). The truly simplistic model will only look at evolutionary psychology and neglect social psychology. It also seems that asexuals who masturbate can separate sex from mating, as can homosexuals, infertile people, pedophiles, etc. > You can consciously posit that sex is "something pleasurable that people do to feel good" but that's how not how you, or anyone, really feels about sex if you go even an inch below the surface. People in developed countries are having more casual sex than ever, and casual sex inside marriage. A large portion of women take the pill, and a large number of men wear condoms. You may have heard of a whole app dedicated to this culture: Tinder. As it turns out, below the surface people do want to feel good. The fact that this desire or that desire is really about wanting a child is irrelevant, because that's not how we practice the act. Look under the surface all you want - it does not change the fact that the surface has a particular expression in concrete terms in the way we navigate the sexual world. >there's a billion dollar industry that caters to women's fantasies. Read Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, or nearly any romance novel. All this goes to show is that both sexes, in general, find dominance sexy. Sure, you could say that a men generally do not want women to be dominant, and women want men to be dominant, but that only goes to show that it is just as much a difference in desires as it is the same desire reciprocally exercised.

claudiawerner 7y ago

>You can separate sex from mating in your conscious mind but most of your mind is not conscious. It is one thing to say that we are driven to sex because of the unconscious desire to reproduce; it is another thing to say that, even unconsciously, a woman would like her Tinder hook-up to impregnate her, and further that it's someone she'd raise a child with (and vice versa, obviously). The truly simplistic model will only look at evolutionary psychology and neglect social psychology. It also seems that asexuals who masturbate can separate sex from mating, as can homosexuals, infertile people, pedophiles, etc. > You can consciously posit that sex is "something pleasurable that people do to feel good" but that's how not how you, or anyone, really feels about sex if you go even an inch below the surface. People in developed countries are having more casual sex than ever, and casual sex inside marriage. A large portion of women take the pill, and a large number of men wear condoms. You may have heard of a whole app dedicated to this culture: Tinder. As it turns out, below the surface people do want to feel good. The fact that this desire or that desire is really about wanting a child is irrelevant, because that's not how we practice the act. Look under the surface all you want - it does not change the fact that the surface has a particular expression in concrete terms in the way we navigate the sexual world. >there's a billion dollar industry that caters to women's fantasies. Read Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, or nearly any romance novel. All this goes to show is that both sexes, in general, find dominance sexy. Sure, you could say that a men generally do not want women to be dominant, and women want men to be dominant, but that only goes to show that it is just as much a difference in desires as it is the same desire reciprocally exercised.