4 ms·
Foreigner Not Taking Holidays
Hey, guys,
I would like your views on a situation that has been bothering me for some time.
I've been living in a foreign country for almost ten years now, and I've been working there for about six years. Since I came to this country, I have never returned to my home country. However, I get along well with my family who still live in my home country, and we are in regular contact by phone or internet. Since I started working here, I rarely take my holidays. The few times I have taken time off, I didn't really know what else to do to keep myself busy, apart from sleeping, hanging out on the internet, playing video games... I have acquaintances here but I would hardly call them friends. I also don't have any close family or boyfriend here. And I'm fine with it. But usually, when my colleagues come back from holidays, they talk about their travels (which seems to be a habit for the middle class in this country) and activities they did. So now I don't take very long periods of time off to not be bothered telling what I did during my holidays. I just take two or three days, consecutive or not, just to rest a little bit. I have to say that not taking leave has also allowed me to negotiate pay raises a few times during my performance reviews, but I'm afraid that's not enough anymore, even if my boss are very satisfied with my job. That's the first problem I have.
The second is the questions I may have from my colleagues or superiors. The questions that come up most often are: Why don't you take some time off? Why have you never returned to your home country? Don't you miss your family/country? What did you do during your holidays?
Usually, I got through it by changing the subject as quickly as possible or by making a little joke. But I'm getting tired of it all and I'm running out of ideas too. I wish I didn't have to answer these questions anymore or answer them without being judged and without lying.
For what it's worth, I'm a girl, although I doubt it matters.
- DamonHD 7y agoI've typically not been a fan of formal holidays, as being a founder of my own businesses means that I enjoy what I am doing and don't really want to stop (and have not always had the ability to take time away). These days, with children, and my company being larger, I am taking holidays, but still somewhat reluctantly! It is nice to have the option to take holidays, but they don't suit everyone, and I think that you should feel able to say that they just don't suit you much. FWIW I am male. Rgds Damon
- jennymcfly 7y agoThank you for your answer. As an employer, do you think it's justified to use this as an argument to negotiate a raise, knowing that even without it, my work satisfies my employer and that nothing prevents me from taking leave?
- DamonHD 7y agoAre you asking if you can or should trade some holiday for more pay? Within whatever the legal bounds are, if any, I don't see why not. Note that local rules may require some minimum holiday, and some regulated professions (such as banking) may require time fully away from work to make hiding bad things harder!
- aurizon 7y agoAh, the all important potlatch analog aspect, AKA bragging rights, show photos, hula skirts etc etc.- when I meet one of those idiots I tell them I go home every Thursday to my Swiss Villa for the long weekend... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch
- jennymcfly 7y agoInteresting read indeed. I remember this time when I came back from a long vacation period during which I had not travelled. They were all disappointed to find out as if it was their problem, and they all gave me looks of sadness mixed with annoyance or disappointment. I was so embarrassed, and yet I had had a good holiday doing nothing.
- aurizon 7y agoI think you can buy a visible vacation online, to Las Vegas or ?? and you give them a few photos and they produce a set of vacation pix to die for, so you can hide at home and have a maximum brag. https://www.google.com/search?q=fake+a+vacation+with+photos&oq=fake+a+vacation+with+photos&aqs=chrome..69i57.11686j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 https://www.google.com/search?q=fake+a+vacation+with+photos&...