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When you think less you may be open to more possibilities, be more spontaneous and even have some childlike fun. However, others can be taken aback and even sus
by loopz 7y ago
When you think less you may be open to more possibilities, be more spontaneous and even have some childlike fun. However, others can be taken aback and even suspect ulterior motives, until you harmonize better with others.
- pazimzadeh 7y agoI am surprised that you said others can suspect ulterior motives, because that started happening to me but I can't figure out what the connection is. Can you expand on that?
- keenmaster 7y agoI have learned to be cautious with two very different types of people (this is not a scientific exercise, take with a grain of salt): - One is people who are constantly negative and cast stones everywhere, but offset that negativity with charm. They can accrue a network of Stockholm-esque followers that would say "he's not an asshole, he's actually a really sweet person." When they perceive a threat from you, or they find that you are indifferent to their charm-aura, you can get on their s*list pretty quickly. They can subtly isolate you from their followers, and be as useless as possible if you have to depend on them for anything. If they lash out at you, it's actually not out of character because they lash out at everything. They're just being themselves, right? Much of their venom is hidden behind sardonic humor, which gives them plausible deniability. They are not beholden to social norms, and everyone around you has accepted that. In lieu of social norms, they create impenetrable, arbitrary standards that only they and their followers can meet. - Another type of person I'm initially careful of is someone who doesn't give any "tells." They always go with the flow, and laugh at everyone's jokes. The only overtly interesting thing about them is how social they are (they only open up in trivial ways). They listen very deeply, asking follow-up question after follow-up question, but they're likely to go and spill your secrets over drinks "I heard X said Y....ya I know, interesting." They don't waste an opportunity to gain social currency, spanning all social groups in order to trade between them. They rarely challenge people, and seem above the fray, but they're as political as anyone.
- loopz 7y agoFor 1 alot of info on "gaslighting" online. For 2, there needs to be reciprocity and honesty (even silent). We shouldn't regard ourselves as below/above, but may be ingrained and diminishing.
- kaffeemitsahne 7y agoHas there been a deflation of the word "gaslighting" recently? I used to understand it as "making person X or others believe person X is crazy (in order to discredit them)" but I see it used much more widely nowadays and I don't really see what it has to do with the scenario in question.
- gowld 7y ago"Gaslighting" now means having a different perspective and asserting it's the correct one or a valid one.
- jaxn 7y agoWhich is inline with making someone feel they are crazy. Making person x second guess their own perspective.
- loopz 7y agoSetting different standards for themselves, setting other people up, even boasting of sabotaging others openly, surrounded by gullible and oblivious people, limiting number of marks, snide remarks, running in packs and claiming all authority while victimizing themselves. Gaslighting is rare but part of the toolset.
- kraigie 7y agoSo if you say the world is flat is the correct perspective and I'm wrong. While I say the world is round is the correct perspective. Are we gas lighting each other?
- 7y ago
- loopz 7y agoPeople mostly prefer "their own kind", at least until they truly get to know you. Solving fatigue by being recluse starves crucial human contact. For many reasons there can remain barriers before getting meaningful contact. Your question itself points to this preference and yearning, and not indifference. A different mode of mind will be received by others differently, as an experience. To get anywhere we must move, but to others this might be deemed too uncomfortable or even mistaken as implicit criticism. As social creatures we must have/find support around us. This works as platform and mandate, so helps true leaders lead.
- LordFast 7y agoBook I found enjoyable and valuable, especially given today's environment of deteriorating social trust: https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Strangers-Should-About-People/dp/B07NJCG1XS/ref=sr_1_1?crid=14UX9EZKW6Q3M&keywords=malcolm+gladwell+talking+to+strangers&qid=1580427600&sprefix=malcolm+gladwell%2Caps%2C189&sr=8-1 https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Strangers-Should-About-People... Gist: don't think too much, it's gonna be okay.
- bananamerica 7y agoThinking less can be advantageous for situations that welcome spontaneity, thinking more is very useful for all the others.
- collyw 7y ago> thinking more is very useful for all the others. Is it? Buddhist monks would likely disagree with you.
- YinglingLight 7y agoContrary to popular belief, not all types of meditation is about 'not thinking'.
- bananamerica 7y agoBuddhist monks usually live in monasteries. And the ones that don't live a very different life than most people.
- crucialfelix 7y agoSpontaneity is also thinking. There are two distinct modes of thought. Verbal/abstract and real-time/intuition. These have neurological foundations in the two hemispheres. The right is more highly connected. The left has more to do with speech and rumination.
- bananamerica 7y agoI was obviously referring to the thinking involved in making plans beforehand.