> Is it that people have so many hidden motivations you become suspicious, or worry about generating / reciprocating feelings of obligation, or end up disappoin

> Is it that people have so many hidden motivations you become suspicious, or worry about generating / reciprocating feelings of obligation, or end up disappointing you after causing you to invest emotion? These are all good, but the one that strikes me first is this: Part of the value of having a relationship with someone is that they are a competent being in their own right. If they stick with someone when it is clearly not in their self interest (e.g. not caring for a disable spouse, but putting up with abuse), even if that abuse is at your own hand, the value of that person drops in your estimation.