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> Should I drop everything to live a stress-free life in Thailand? That sounds like it would be a really stressful thing to do... You probably have a number o

> Should I drop everything to live a stress-free life in Thailand? That sounds like it would be a really stressful thing to do... You probably have a number of good ways to reflect on your priorities, but its very difficult for someone else to tell you how to reflect on those. Most people can only speak to what worked for them, which depends on where they were before, etc. IMO to start: Wake up way earlier than you have to. (This changed me into a morning person.) When you have 1-2 hours where you can just sit there calmly, drinking coffee, and not be rushed, you feel ten times better. Many mornings me and my wife wake up and just sit by the fire (that we restart to heat our home) and make coffee. Sometimes she will write, or we will both read, or talk, etc, but often we just sit together for a while and relax. Later on, you can work on being ~productive~ in the a.m. too if you please. Invite ritual into your life. Spend a time making your home a place you would want to be. A house is a place for having coffee, having conversation, having memories and symbols that give you feeling or inspiration (pictures, objects), how much of their designs do that? How much yours?

RandomBacon 7y ago
I second waking up earlier than you have to. I started doing this about 2 weeks ago. It's nice not having to stress about rushing in the morning. I used to start my day stressing. In hindsight, that wasn't healthy.
- bathtub365 7y ago
  2 weeks is not long enough to build a habit or accurately evaluate its effectiveness.
domlebo70 7y ago
Great advice. I find having a dependable routine helps me live a stress free life. When I am travelling, and that routine is disrupted, I feel uncomfortable and more stressed.
- itake 7y ago
  When I am at home, I get stress about long term planning, but when I travel, I am more carefree and in the moment.
  - simonsarris 7y ago
    I theorize that a big component of many people's relaxing on vacation is because they have fewer objects to tend to and care about. It's temporal minimalism. IMO "Things that will change your life for $100 on amazon" lists are dumb and most people's lives would be improved by the opposite - renting a dumpster!
QuercusMax 7y ago
How early do you go to bed? If I woke up 1.5 hours before I need to (6:50 AM, to get kids ready for school), that would mean I'd be getting up at 5:20. Do you seriously start heading to bed at 8:30pm? That doesn't seem realistic to me at all.
- simonsarris 7y ago
  Last year for a while I was doing that (going to bed 8:30 to 9). My house is mostly heated by wood stove so last year I started waking up early to restart the fire and it just stuck. This year I'm getting up a little later (maybe average 6:30, to be out the door by 8:30), mostly because I am writing more at night this winter, and its not as cold. I think in the summer I'll switch to writing in the morning more and go back to waking up 5:30-6. Years ago, I would go to bed at 12-2am. I always used to say most of my best work was done between 10pm-2am. I much prefer it this new way, though past me would have a hard time believing it!
  - QuercusMax 7y ago
    How much of this is just the natural consequences of aging? Humans' sleep patterns do tend to shift as you age - teens and 20s naturally want to go to bed and get up later, and elderly folks go to bed early and wake up early. What you're experiencing might just be due to your naturally changing circadian rhythms.
    - simonsarris 7y ago
      That's possible, but it seems unlikely, as it was a conscious decision made in one day when I moved/necessitated by heating. If it was aging, I would expect it to at least be gradual, or unconscious, or something.
      - Darkphibre 7y ago
        I'll second this finding. I'm not getting younger, sure... but I can still go to a party convention and average 3hrs sleep a night for 5 days, or "decide" to play Beat Saber until 2AM. The reality is that if it's important, you'll make time to go to bed earlier. It takes a while for the body to hit restful sleep so early (and using blackout curtains / dawn clocks have been pivotal). For me it was wanting to start working out in a particular morning class... I immediately shifted from midnight to 9:30-10 to give myself the extra time in the morning.
m0zg 7y ago
This is all individual though. Some people (me) will not switch to be a morning person no matter what you do. I've tried numerous times. I'd say the only way out is to be aware of whether you have too much stressful stuff on your plate, and either not add more, or proactively remove. Say "no" to more things. Say "yes" a lot less. Manage your commitments. Without this awareness people take on too much stuff, which can only end in tears for everyone involved for several simple reasons: - If you continue biting off more than you can chew, eventually you will fail to deliver on your obligations, and you'll be too stressed to do your best work - If you never say "no", you pretty much don't respect yourself, and therefore other people will not respect you. I feel like this affects women more, because they try to be more agreeable and avoid confrontation at all costs. As they say "if you let people walk over you, eventually they will complain you're not flat enough". That is very, very true. I wish I learned this lesson much earlier than I did. My wife still hasn't learned it though. - As a manager: if you're worried about your career progression, the way to achieve that is by taking a few significant chunks of responsibility, and delivering them with high quality and in at a predictable cadence, NOT taking on a million different things and delivering half baked shit way after it's needed by your team. In the former case you've succeeded and delivered, in the latter case you've failed, and worse, you've made your boss and your team appear like a bunch of idiots. _And_ on top of that your hair is now falling out because you're stressed AF.

RandomBacon 7y ago

I second waking up earlier than you have to. I started doing this about 2 weeks ago. It's nice not having to stress about rushing in the morning. I used to start my day stressing. In hindsight, that wasn't healthy.

bathtub365 7y ago
2 weeks is not long enough to build a habit or accurately evaluate its effectiveness.

domlebo70 7y ago

Great advice. I find having a dependable routine helps me live a stress free life. When I am travelling, and that routine is disrupted, I feel uncomfortable and more stressed.

itake 7y ago
When I am at home, I get stress about long term planning, but when I travel, I am more carefree and in the moment.
- simonsarris 7y ago
  I theorize that a big component of many people's relaxing on vacation is because they have fewer objects to tend to and care about. It's temporal minimalism. IMO "Things that will change your life for $100 on amazon" lists are dumb and most people's lives would be improved by the opposite - renting a dumpster!

QuercusMax 7y ago

How early do you go to bed? If I woke up 1.5 hours before I need to (6:50 AM, to get kids ready for school), that would mean I'd be getting up at 5:20. Do you seriously start heading to bed at 8:30pm? That doesn't seem realistic to me at all.

simonsarris 7y ago
Last year for a while I was doing that (going to bed 8:30 to 9). My house is mostly heated by wood stove so last year I started waking up early to restart the fire and it just stuck. This year I'm getting up a little later (maybe average 6:30, to be out the door by 8:30), mostly because I am writing more at night this winter, and its not as cold. I think in the summer I'll switch to writing in the morning more and go back to waking up 5:30-6. Years ago, I would go to bed at 12-2am. I always used to say most of my best work was done between 10pm-2am. I much prefer it this new way, though past me would have a hard time believing it!
- QuercusMax 7y ago
  How much of this is just the natural consequences of aging? Humans' sleep patterns do tend to shift as you age - teens and 20s naturally want to go to bed and get up later, and elderly folks go to bed early and wake up early. What you're experiencing might just be due to your naturally changing circadian rhythms.
  - simonsarris 7y ago
    That's possible, but it seems unlikely, as it was a conscious decision made in one day when I moved/necessitated by heating. If it was aging, I would expect it to at least be gradual, or unconscious, or something.
    - Darkphibre 7y ago
      I'll second this finding. I'm not getting younger, sure... but I can still go to a party convention and average 3hrs sleep a night for 5 days, or "decide" to play Beat Saber until 2AM. The reality is that if it's important, you'll make time to go to bed earlier. It takes a while for the body to hit restful sleep so early (and using blackout curtains / dawn clocks have been pivotal). For me it was wanting to start working out in a particular morning class... I immediately shifted from midnight to 9:30-10 to give myself the extra time in the morning.

m0zg 7y ago

This is all individual though. Some people (me) will not switch to be a morning person no matter what you do. I've tried numerous times. I'd say the only way out is to be aware of whether you have too much stressful stuff on your plate, and either not add more, or proactively remove. Say "no" to more things. Say "yes" a lot less. Manage your commitments. Without this awareness people take on too much stuff, which can only end in tears for everyone involved for several simple reasons: - If you continue biting off more than you can chew, eventually you will fail to deliver on your obligations, and you'll be too stressed to do your best work - If you never say "no", you pretty much don't respect yourself, and therefore other people will not respect you. I feel like this affects women more, because they try to be more agreeable and avoid confrontation at all costs. As they say "if you let people walk over you, eventually they will complain you're not flat enough". That is very, very true. I wish I learned this lesson much earlier than I did. My wife still hasn't learned it though. - As a manager: if you're worried about your career progression, the way to achieve that is by taking a few significant chunks of responsibility, and delivering them with high quality and in at a predictable cadence, NOT taking on a million different things and delivering half baked shit way after it's needed by your team. In the former case you've succeeded and delivered, in the latter case you've failed, and worse, you've made your boss and your team appear like a bunch of idiots. _And_ on top of that your hair is now falling out because you're stressed AF.