Providing the choice is always OK and often appropriate. The problem is when people argue that software shouldn't have telemetry or automated updates at all, be

Providing the choice is always OK and often appropriate. The problem is when people argue that software shouldn't have telemetry or automated updates at all, because then what you get is software that respects the user's desire at a surface level - no telemetry, no automated updates - while failing to respect deeper aspects of their intent, like "I don't want to get added to a botnet", "I don't want this software to crash", and "I don't want features I like removed in future updates". You can always decide to go elsewhere of course, and software developers have the right to decide personally not to put that stuff into their apps - none of my personal projects have telemetry and most of them don't have updaters.