It sounds like time to get back into mental health treatment so you can deal with the trauma because workaholism is no longer working as a distraction. The end

It sounds like time to get back into mental health treatment so you can deal with the trauma because workaholism is no longer working as a distraction. The end of a close relationship, sexual assault, and the passing of your mother are each things that can seriously challenge your self-concept in difficult ways. They also will take a toll on your ability to trust others. Together it sounds like too much too fast to be processed outside of survival mode. If you can't get into individual therapy, maybe you can find a support group? Even something phone or chat based is better than nothing. Please know that you are not alone and there are a lot of us here who have struggled and continue to struggle. And go for walks with no phone or music!