5 ms·

Must not be Asian. My friends give their wives all their money.

by Charuru 16y ago

petercooper 16y ago
They must be very trusting (or have typically financially literate wives). If I were to do this, it'd confirm the worst: I'd gone insane.. :-)
- Tichy 16y ago
  I wonder if they have a choice in the matter.
- sliverstorm 16y ago
  I'm guessing the implication is the wives employ browbeating.
- nandemo 16y ago
  In Japan that's the default. Wife takes care of the budget and gives a monthly "allowance" to the husband. I don't know what you mean by financially literate, but they don't have to know much about investments or interest rates. Their job is to set a budget and stick to it every month. Most people will avoid getting deep into debt except for large purchases such as a house or a car, and savings account's interest rates are practically 0%. So being good at managing a budget is nearly all that matters.
  - psykotic 16y ago
    > In Japan that's the default. Wife takes care of the budget and gives a monthly "allowance" to the husband. That sounds familiar. When I worked in Seoul at a Korean company, the smaller unscheduled bonuses were rewarded in cash. That way the husbands who so desired could go to hostess clubs and room salons on their own dime without the knowledge of their wives, who held the purse strings. There are plenty of apparent paradoxes like this in Korean society. As a generalization, the men are deeply devoted to their wives and family and will kill themselves at work to afford extra tuition for their pre-school children. But many of them see no contradiction between that level of devotion and letting off steam with prostitutes once a month at hwaeshik.
  - martinkallstrom 16y ago
    There's even more to that story. It's true that the wife takes care of the salary and gives a monthly allowance to the husband. But whenever he files expense reports to his employer, he is reimbursed to a separate account that only he has access to and his wife has no insight into. But he is dependent on her household management to such a degree that one of the main causes for homelessness is men being abandoned by their wifes in late years when the kids have flown out. He is unable to even cook rice, let alone pay the electrical bill or rent. So he ends up in the street, sometimes with his employment intact. Suffice to say, this is not true for all men, but common enough to be a known order of events.
    - nandemo 16y ago
      > He is unable to even cook rice, let alone pay the electrical bill or rent. So he ends up in the street, sometimes with his employment intact. Lol, what? I can't tell if you're serious. Just because men depend on women for budgeting and house chores doesn't mean that they have to be homeless after a separation.
      - melvinram 16y ago
        +1 to that "LOL what?" I don't buy the whole "if you don't normally handle the house that you can't figure it out when you have to" idea. If someone can't figure that stuff out, they have bigger problems then paying the bill or rent.
        euroclydon 16y ago
        Not all people "on the streets" are entirely there against their wills. It's not like they're trying to get off the streets every day, and just can't, instead, they're hanging out, talking with their friends, and have, in general, adapted to a new setting.
  - bryanlarsen 16y ago
    When I was in Japan, it was common for the married guys to buy the single guys lunch. The single guys would then repay the married guys in beer later. Lunch came off the paycheque automatically before the wife got the money, whereas beer came out of the allowance.
paganel 16y ago
> My friends give their wives all their money. Isn't this how things are done in a normal relation? I mean not necessarily giving the money to your wife, but having both yours and your wife's money in the same pool.
- deletjijo 16y ago
  My wife and I each have our own accounts, and we both contribute to a joint pool as well. The joint pool covers kid-related expenses, housing, food, utilities, one vacation per year, and retirement savings. Our own pools cover our respective cars, dining/entertainment budgets, jewelry, clothes, extra savings, extra vacation, whatever. It works out really nicely because we don't have to negotiate with each other about anything other than the essentials.

Must not be Asian. My friends give their wives all their money.

by Charuru 16y ago

Must not be Asian. My friends give their wives all their money.

They must be very trusting (or have typically financially literate wives). If I were to do this, it'd confirm the worst: I'd gone insane.. :-)

Tichy 16y ago
I wonder if they have a choice in the matter.
sliverstorm 16y ago
I'm guessing the implication is the wives employ browbeating.
nandemo 16y ago
In Japan that's the default. Wife takes care of the budget and gives a monthly "allowance" to the husband. I don't know what you mean by financially literate, but they don't have to know much about investments or interest rates. Their job is to set a budget and stick to it every month. Most people will avoid getting deep into debt except for large purchases such as a house or a car, and savings account's interest rates are practically 0%. So being good at managing a budget is nearly all that matters.
- psykotic 16y ago
  > In Japan that's the default. Wife takes care of the budget and gives a monthly "allowance" to the husband. That sounds familiar. When I worked in Seoul at a Korean company, the smaller unscheduled bonuses were rewarded in cash. That way the husbands who so desired could go to hostess clubs and room salons on their own dime without the knowledge of their wives, who held the purse strings. There are plenty of apparent paradoxes like this in Korean society. As a generalization, the men are deeply devoted to their wives and family and will kill themselves at work to afford extra tuition for their pre-school children. But many of them see no contradiction between that level of devotion and letting off steam with prostitutes once a month at hwaeshik.
- martinkallstrom 16y ago
  There's even more to that story. It's true that the wife takes care of the salary and gives a monthly allowance to the husband. But whenever he files expense reports to his employer, he is reimbursed to a separate account that only he has access to and his wife has no insight into. But he is dependent on her household management to such a degree that one of the main causes for homelessness is men being abandoned by their wifes in late years when the kids have flown out. He is unable to even cook rice, let alone pay the electrical bill or rent. So he ends up in the street, sometimes with his employment intact. Suffice to say, this is not true for all men, but common enough to be a known order of events.
  - nandemo 16y ago
    > He is unable to even cook rice, let alone pay the electrical bill or rent. So he ends up in the street, sometimes with his employment intact. Lol, what? I can't tell if you're serious. Just because men depend on women for budgeting and house chores doesn't mean that they have to be homeless after a separation.
    - melvinram 16y ago
      +1 to that "LOL what?" I don't buy the whole "if you don't normally handle the house that you can't figure it out when you have to" idea. If someone can't figure that stuff out, they have bigger problems then paying the bill or rent.
      - euroclydon 16y ago
        Not all people "on the streets" are entirely there against their wills. It's not like they're trying to get off the streets every day, and just can't, instead, they're hanging out, talking with their friends, and have, in general, adapted to a new setting.
- bryanlarsen 16y ago
  When I was in Japan, it was common for the married guys to buy the single guys lunch. The single guys would then repay the married guys in beer later. Lunch came off the paycheque automatically before the wife got the money, whereas beer came out of the allowance.

paganel 16y ago

> My friends give their wives all their money. Isn't this how things are done in a normal relation? I mean not necessarily giving the money to your wife, but having both yours and your wife's money in the same pool.

deletjijo 16y ago
My wife and I each have our own accounts, and we both contribute to a joint pool as well. The joint pool covers kid-related expenses, housing, food, utilities, one vacation per year, and retirement savings. Our own pools cover our respective cars, dining/entertainment budgets, jewelry, clothes, extra savings, extra vacation, whatever. It works out really nicely because we don't have to negotiate with each other about anything other than the essentials.