4 ms·
I'm 27. I was burned out from June 2009 to January 2011. I made it out of that funk, and will never go back. - Drop all timelines for recovery. You didn't go
by oogali 16y ago
I'm 27. I was burned out from June 2009 to January 2011. I made it out of that funk, and will never go back.
- Drop all timelines for recovery.
You didn't go into burnout overnight, so you're not coming out of it overnight. I saw the warning signs of my "batteries" getting low in early 2009, but I kept pressing on at full speed because I wanted to get ahead of the workload, and kept hoping that relief would come.
The relief didn't come, the workload increased, and my mind essentially shut down. I felt like a zombie some days -- a zombie too down to even chase after brains.
- Change your scenery.
I tried to cheat by doing all the little things and hoping for immediate results.
There were days I'd spend 8-10 hours biking through Manhattan and Brooklyn. But my mind would wander back to work ("I'm only X blocks from work, I wonder if building security will let me bring my bike through the lobby, so I can work on this bit of code that'd improve operations... wait, what the hell am I saying?")
I moved from one apartment to another. Granted, certain things about my original apartment (and neighborhood) were annoying me, but not as much as I thought they were. The move helped put me closer to where I wanted to be mentally, but there was still a long way to go.
I resigned from my job in June 2010, even though we both wanted to make it work. I was just too far into the abyss. I considered a sabbatical, but I wasn't sure that I'd be willing to return at the end (plus there was word that someone else had did the same -- left and didn't return, so I told myself that my 1-year request would probably be denied).
I spent the next two months throwing parties, going to parties, catching music acts, traveling to visit friends and family, and doing new and old things (photography, skydiving, sailing, etc).
I didn't set a travel itinerary or any schedule whatsoever -- I would just randomly look at air/bus/rail fares and weather forecasts, say "that seems reasonable", and book my ticket.
- Don't work during your recovery.
During my traveling downtime, I'd do some consulting work for a few clients. I enjoyed working with most of them, but out of the latter bunch, there was one over-demanding client that threw all of it into chaos.
In my burned out state, I desperately tried to make it work with this client ("if I just try harder..."), but no, it just reversed any progress I had made at this point. And affected the other clients I really liked.
- Don't beat yourself up.
I had all the same fears you currently have, and the biggest one was not having a plan. I felt like crap that I let myself deteriorate to this state, and that it was affecting people around me.
Eventually I made one plan that I'd stick to no matter what: to get better.
- Keep at it.
In September 2010, I legitimately started feeling better and began at a new job, but I continued to travel (weekends, 3 day weekends, holidays). Kept doing the things that made me happy, and my recovery kept progressing.
With this new job, I made a rule of not working at home -- only in the office, except for emergencies, until I could find a better balance. Sometimes, I felt like I was coming close to max capacity, so I'd ease off the throttle. Just being aware of what your limits are is a big win.
For a while I was starting to hate tech, and consider my options as a farm or construction worker (a la "Office Space"). But I'm back to twiddling knobs and some hacking -- I've probably written more code in the last two months than I have in the last year.
Here I am in February 2011, and I'm in the tail end of this thing. To put a number on it, I'm probably at 95% and as long as I keep at it, I'll be better than ever.
* The most important thing out of this is you have to take the time out to recover. You cannot try to multi-task/juggle/whatever because you will fall right back into the rut you were climbing out of. *
Hopefully this helps you all shake off some rust, and better yet, avoid the dark road I went down for almost two years.
- wil2k 16y agoSimilar story and lessons as above here.. One more important tip that I'd like to add: After all those years of stress, I had basically retrained my body to be chronically hyperventilating, something I didn't directly noticed when I was trying to recover. Basically everyone has this idea of hyperventilation with someone holding a paper/plastic bag and gasping for air.. but it doesn't have to be that way. You can be hyperventilating all the time, feel tired as h#ll, dizzy, stressed, anxiety etc.. without really noticing that you're breathing too fast because of a retrained/'stuck' breathing center! Really, I was breathing like 20-25 times a minute in rest ..crazy, it's like riding a bicycle at >20 KM/h all day long! It's very easy to check your breathing though. E.g. via the 'Control Pause' test from the Buteyko Method: http://knol.google.com/k/buteyko-control-pause-cp# http://knol.google.com/k/buteyko-control-pause-cp# It takes determination and time to learn how to breath properly again and unwind all that stored stress. Currently back to breathing 6-14 times/min. at rest and already feeling sooo much better, happier, more energetic, sleep is much much better etc. Proper breathing is wayyyyyy underrated. Every GP seems to follow the "you're stressed out? psychosomatic complaints? here have some $neurotransmitter_modifying_medicine" route without looking at the _real_ cause(s). I can't think (memory still goes and comes..it sucks) of the famous ancient Greek who said it, but paraphrased: "You cannot fix/heal anything if you don't know the underlying cause." The rest is just the suppression of symptoms..