4 ms·

Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single male between th

by SandB0x 16y ago

Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single male between the age of 25 and 35. The right ideas will slowly come to you, but getting some perspective is essential and that's not going to come from sitting in your apartment staring at your laptop. The two things I suggest are: * Exercise. Mens sana in corpore sano. Lift some weights. Run, cycle. Anything. Be yourself, only better (as seen on a t-shirt). You will not believe how much regular exercise will change your state of mind. * Travel. Get out of town. Get out of your hole. Get some perspective. Even if you just go to stay with some relatives in another city for a few weeks. If you can afford the flights, go somewhere warm and cheap and bask in the sun like a lizard. Meet some strangers. Make friends. Talk to girls. Read, eat, drink. I wish you the best of luck, and please let us know how you get on. Edit: I also really, really recommend reading Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It will definitely help shape your thoughts, and it's a very quick read.

peterb 16y ago
+1 on exercise. Endorphins are nature's anti-depressant.
PostBurnout 16y ago
Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single male between the age of 25 and 35. Correct on all counts -- nothing tying me down, and my rainy day fund can keep me fed, clothed, and sheltered for years. I actually get a decent amount of exercise -- minimum 40 minutes per day, I'd estimate. It certainly has plenty of benefits, but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again. I definitely can go out and change things, but I think my mindset is holding me back. It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste. Yes, yes, I know I'll regret the things I didn't do. But I fear that I'm setting myself up for failure this way with unrealistic expectations.
- SandB0x 16y ago
  Then my second point still stands. Seriously, just get out of town for a while. That's an achievable goal in itself. You don't have to expect anything from it and you don't need to make grand plans.
- kareemm 16y ago
  > but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again. The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection. Generally, if something saps your energy whenever you use it, that's a good sign to use it less. > I think my mindset is holding me back. Only one person can change this, and it ain't any of us on HN :) > It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste. Try letting go of this expectation - they just set you up for failure. Go get away from your keyboard (travel) and enjoy yourself, and trust that perspective and insight will come.
  - PostBurnout 16y ago
    The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection. Ow. That hurt. (But thanks, I'll definitely use that quote in the future!)
    - Mz 16y ago
      Not disagreeing with the original point, but will offer another possibility: If you aren't well, it's easy to zone out in front of the computer. I have done lots and lots of this while very sick. I do less of it now that I am healthier. (If you are smart and not really well, the internet is a good way to get some of the mental stimulation you crave when you are too out of it to go get more of a life.) And if your keyboard is not clean enough, this can sap your energy. I wipe my keyboard down when I first get to work and we wipe our keyboards down repeatedly at home before someone gets on it. For me, this makes a difference in ability to focus and not simply zone out. Getting rid of an older, dirtier computer and getting a brand new one also has meant that I spend a lot less time mindlessly piddling on the internet. Peace and good luck.
- 16y ago

by SandB0x 16y ago

peterb 16y ago

+1 on exercise. Endorphins are nature's anti-depressant.

PostBurnout 16y ago

Do you have a wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend? Are you tied down to anything? Do you have money to travel? I'm going to assume you're a single male between the age of 25 and 35. Correct on all counts -- nothing tying me down, and my rainy day fund can keep me fed, clothed, and sheltered for years. I actually get a decent amount of exercise -- minimum 40 minutes per day, I'd estimate. It certainly has plenty of benefits, but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again. I definitely can go out and change things, but I think my mindset is holding me back. It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste. Yes, yes, I know I'll regret the things I didn't do. But I fear that I'm setting myself up for failure this way with unrealistic expectations.

SandB0x 16y ago
Then my second point still stands. Seriously, just get out of town for a while. That's an achievable goal in itself. You don't have to expect anything from it and you don't need to make grand plans.
kareemm 16y ago
> but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again. The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection. Generally, if something saps your energy whenever you use it, that's a good sign to use it less. > I think my mindset is holding me back. Only one person can change this, and it ain't any of us on HN :) > It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste. Try letting go of this expectation - they just set you up for failure. Go get away from your keyboard (travel) and enjoy yourself, and trust that perspective and insight will come.
- PostBurnout 16y ago
  The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection. Ow. That hurt. (But thanks, I'll definitely use that quote in the future!)
  - Mz 16y ago
    Not disagreeing with the original point, but will offer another possibility: If you aren't well, it's easy to zone out in front of the computer. I have done lots and lots of this while very sick. I do less of it now that I am healthier. (If you are smart and not really well, the internet is a good way to get some of the mental stimulation you crave when you are too out of it to go get more of a life.) And if your keyboard is not clean enough, this can sap your energy. I wipe my keyboard down when I first get to work and we wipe our keyboards down repeatedly at home before someone gets on it. For me, this makes a difference in ability to focus and not simply zone out. Getting rid of an older, dirtier computer and getting a brand new one also has meant that I spend a lot less time mindlessly piddling on the internet. Peace and good luck.
16y ago