I think it's fair to say that the death of anyone's baby, in circumstances where they can blame themselves (I didn't do enough to make the baby healthy, I didn'

I think it's fair to say that the death of anyone's baby, in circumstances where they can blame themselves (I didn't do enough to make the baby healthy, I didn't support my wife, I could have done x for her) might have significant mental detriment on a non gestating spouse just as it might the one who gestates. Instead, you've made this about how smart you can seem rather than listening to the other person.