3 ms·

While jokes are not good, it's important to talk about it. A good friend of mine had to go through multiple miscarriages, and almost lost her life in the proces

While jokes are not good, it's important to talk about it. A good friend of mine had to go through multiple miscarriages, and almost lost her life in the process. She hurt a lot from the feeling of being imperfect and somehow at fault. She was actually surprised how common an occurrence a miscarriage is, and if we manage to make it more normal to talk about it, and more normal to expect that it can happen, I think we would make an important step in reducing the pain.

hhas01 7y ago
“She was actually surprised how common an occurrence a miscarriage is” Answer: very†. But it often isn’t talked about. And, I strongly agree, not talking about it is very Bad indeed. Ironically, I think developed nations’ success in all but eliminating premature deaths from once-ubiquitous infectious diseases has left recent generations without the highly-practised coping skills, social support systems, and painfully resigned stoicism that helped get our great-great-grandparents through the horrible inevitable process of burying half their kids before the poor little bleeders could even make it to adulthood. We’re all now such strangers to death we’re shit-scared by even the thought of talking about it, never mind directly facing up to it ourselves. -- † Even assuming the hosting part works perfectly, the whole DNA splicing and replication process is always an absolute crapshoot‡. ‡ And, to be fair, if it weren’t for all those accidental copy errors none of us would be here now to argue the issue, for life on Earth would never have advanced beyond the single cell. So yay for an imperfect process, but—bloody hell—is it one harsh SOB.
sambe 7y ago
I find quite a lot of people do not agree that it's important to talk about it, for whatever reason. My guess is that overcoming the social stigma around showing your emotions/sharing problems is mostly to blame. Perhaps most people in my social group actually have had such problems and don't even feel comfortable in the meta-conversation. I often say things like "people should talk about this kind of stuff more because it would help them through it". I obviously mean it in a general sense (very much not trying to get specific people to talk about specific problems). Responses vary from an insincere "yeah..." to the rather odd "you can't tell people what to do".
- davrosthedalek 7y ago
  It's not only the people who are directly affected who have to talk it through. I think we all need to talk about these things, to make it more normal. Talk about it before it happens. We all have a tendency to elevate any misfortune, small and large, to be the biggest thing ever, and how can you ever live through it. (Edit: I'm not wanting to say that a miscarriage is a small misfortune. No, it's not. But there are many many worse things which can go wrong.)
  - sambe 7y ago
    Definitely, but I still find others don't agree (or at least don't enthusiastically agree).

hhas01 7y ago

“She was actually surprised how common an occurrence a miscarriage is” Answer: very†. But it often isn’t talked about. And, I strongly agree, not talking about it is very Bad indeed. Ironically, I think developed nations’ success in all but eliminating premature deaths from once-ubiquitous infectious diseases has left recent generations without the highly-practised coping skills, social support systems, and painfully resigned stoicism that helped get our great-great-grandparents through the horrible inevitable process of burying half their kids before the poor little bleeders could even make it to adulthood. We’re all now such strangers to death we’re shit-scared by even the thought of talking about it, never mind directly facing up to it ourselves. -- † Even assuming the hosting part works perfectly, the whole DNA splicing and replication process is always an absolute crapshoot‡. ‡ And, to be fair, if it weren’t for all those accidental copy errors none of us would be here now to argue the issue, for life on Earth would never have advanced beyond the single cell. So yay for an imperfect process, but—bloody hell—is it one harsh SOB.

sambe 7y ago

I find quite a lot of people do not agree that it's important to talk about it, for whatever reason. My guess is that overcoming the social stigma around showing your emotions/sharing problems is mostly to blame. Perhaps most people in my social group actually have had such problems and don't even feel comfortable in the meta-conversation. I often say things like "people should talk about this kind of stuff more because it would help them through it". I obviously mean it in a general sense (very much not trying to get specific people to talk about specific problems). Responses vary from an insincere "yeah..." to the rather odd "you can't tell people what to do".

davrosthedalek 7y ago
It's not only the people who are directly affected who have to talk it through. I think we all need to talk about these things, to make it more normal. Talk about it before it happens. We all have a tendency to elevate any misfortune, small and large, to be the biggest thing ever, and how can you ever live through it. (Edit: I'm not wanting to say that a miscarriage is a small misfortune. No, it's not. But there are many many worse things which can go wrong.)
- sambe 7y ago
  Definitely, but I still find others don't agree (or at least don't enthusiastically agree).