3 ms·

> I have been considering getting some people together to build an app that semi-spies on kid's audio - and auto erases 90% of it.. and only sending a notice or

> I have been considering getting some people together to build an app that semi-spies on kid's audio - and auto erases 90% of it.. and only sending a notice or save if it gets hits on certain keywords.. and make that toggle-able for various parents.. some might want sex keywords.. I think suicide related ones would be pretty universal.. but able to toggle others.. some parents no cuss words.. it's still various napkins of ideas.. something maybe with mycroft or similar that does not send audio to the cloud. Please don't. That sounds like a terrible idea and shows lack of trust/faith of parents in their kids. No one is pushed to suicidal ideation without a significant disruption in life. Instead of focusing on when if it happens, prevention is always better. Try to engage with them regularly, be a nice friend and inspiration. You ought to be the role model and don't signal stigma or guilt which many people unintentionally do when topic of depression and suicidal ideation comes up. Though, I don't have any case for preteen kids. They may require additional surveillance but not from their phones, from you. You need to be there for them, available and reachable. Heads off for teaching them about tech and various implications of it early on! That's certainly good. One more thing, keep things normal. Stick it with realistic statistics. You don't want them to become paranoid. (I hope you already know that).

stevenicr 7y ago
I hear you on "Please don't. That sounds like a terrible idea and shows lack of trust/faith of parents in their kids. No one is pushed to suicidal ideation without a significant disruption in life." and it really is about the individual - the maturity and age and situations. That's reason I think IF something like this was to be used, it would have variable keywords to pay attention to.. I know some parents that would lose their mind if they caught kids cussing.. and even though that is not allowed in our situation, I would not turn on a toggle to flag it.. In this particular situation, we have had some run-ins where there has been some indications that make the need for listening closely for suicidal type things something that is likely a good idea.. this child was in a really bad place for the first 6 years of life, then major disruptions several times since. Have warnings from counselors to keep an eye out for certain indicators.. This in combination with physical and verbal bullying in multiple places and other things.. it's something we are trying to extend trust and space.. and keep an eye on things.. Like I said each situation is different, and I worry that people would use such tech in a way that really bothers me - I mean what if someone used it to determine sex keywords and they discovered an lgbt interest and went off the rails.. So it's tough to balance the thoughts on proper ways to consider use of such tech. But I focus mainly on non-judgement, come and talk about anything, I suggest things or just listen, don't get mad, show multiple options for handling things, learn to check multiple sources, all that. mom discovered porn url, flipped a bit - I calmed her down, it's not about punishing, it's about communication if needed and awareness when it's needed. "Stick it with realistic statistics. You don't want them to become paranoid" - yes indeed! we need to also talk about the good, the positives of online chats and relations... and then a middle ground of GF / BF you love and trust today could change one day and go the other direction.. but that is offline as much as online.. but be ware that if they got mad at you you wouldn't want them to have galleries of pics / videos that they won't delete if you ask them to and they no longer like you for example. so many things, and situations vary immensely!
- thrwaway69 7y ago
  You are right, this may have some use. Like you said, I worry about the potential of harm as well as effectiveness. I think it could be useful and plenty if it doesn't record conversations but simply notify parents or guardians immediately on predetermined triggers. Put it on a watch and strap it. Parents have authority over their kids. There is potential to abuse and from what I have seen happen with smartphones has convinced me, any tech for kids need to be highly restrained in the use otherwise it will be abused for a replacement. Parents will start relying on it as the end and all solution. Add triggers for everything and snoop in instead of directly communicating and building trust. There is also context missing from short clips and it may appear a certain way while it isn't intended to be. I say lot of shit I wouldn't want others to hear including my parents. I will communicate about the same but in a more reasonable way if I feel comfortable. Some people can't take it calmly and I don't blame them, it will be hard to hear and emotional attachment could cloud judgement. It might signal guilt and stigma. If I knew someone was snooping in on the details, I would either stop talking about some things which I should ought to express more for others to take on or simply trash the device. In the later case, what if parents become convinced that the device is still working and they need not worry about anything? You can try to restrict tech to certain parents but that's hard to do once it becomes mainstream. It's hard to restrict afterwards and build on human values for it to be not used as an armchair parenting device. > mom discovered porn url, flipped a bit - I calmed her down, it's not about punishing, it's about communication if needed and awareness when it's needed. I have similar views. Porn is unavoidable in some form, no matter how hard you try when they hit teens. It will be shared by friends and while you can block things in your home, you can't do it for someone else's home. I wouldn't try to block it so I can al teast notice if there is anything unhealthy in there and talk.

stevenicr 7y ago

I hear you on "Please don't. That sounds like a terrible idea and shows lack of trust/faith of parents in their kids. No one is pushed to suicidal ideation without a significant disruption in life." and it really is about the individual - the maturity and age and situations. That's reason I think IF something like this was to be used, it would have variable keywords to pay attention to.. I know some parents that would lose their mind if they caught kids cussing.. and even though that is not allowed in our situation, I would not turn on a toggle to flag it.. In this particular situation, we have had some run-ins where there has been some indications that make the need for listening closely for suicidal type things something that is likely a good idea.. this child was in a really bad place for the first 6 years of life, then major disruptions several times since. Have warnings from counselors to keep an eye out for certain indicators.. This in combination with physical and verbal bullying in multiple places and other things.. it's something we are trying to extend trust and space.. and keep an eye on things.. Like I said each situation is different, and I worry that people would use such tech in a way that really bothers me - I mean what if someone used it to determine sex keywords and they discovered an lgbt interest and went off the rails.. So it's tough to balance the thoughts on proper ways to consider use of such tech. But I focus mainly on non-judgement, come and talk about anything, I suggest things or just listen, don't get mad, show multiple options for handling things, learn to check multiple sources, all that. mom discovered porn url, flipped a bit - I calmed her down, it's not about punishing, it's about communication if needed and awareness when it's needed. "Stick it with realistic statistics. You don't want them to become paranoid" - yes indeed! we need to also talk about the good, the positives of online chats and relations... and then a middle ground of GF / BF you love and trust today could change one day and go the other direction.. but that is offline as much as online.. but be ware that if they got mad at you you wouldn't want them to have galleries of pics / videos that they won't delete if you ask them to and they no longer like you for example. so many things, and situations vary immensely!

thrwaway69 7y ago
You are right, this may have some use. Like you said, I worry about the potential of harm as well as effectiveness. I think it could be useful and plenty if it doesn't record conversations but simply notify parents or guardians immediately on predetermined triggers. Put it on a watch and strap it. Parents have authority over their kids. There is potential to abuse and from what I have seen happen with smartphones has convinced me, any tech for kids need to be highly restrained in the use otherwise it will be abused for a replacement. Parents will start relying on it as the end and all solution. Add triggers for everything and snoop in instead of directly communicating and building trust. There is also context missing from short clips and it may appear a certain way while it isn't intended to be. I say lot of shit I wouldn't want others to hear including my parents. I will communicate about the same but in a more reasonable way if I feel comfortable. Some people can't take it calmly and I don't blame them, it will be hard to hear and emotional attachment could cloud judgement. It might signal guilt and stigma. If I knew someone was snooping in on the details, I would either stop talking about some things which I should ought to express more for others to take on or simply trash the device. In the later case, what if parents become convinced that the device is still working and they need not worry about anything? You can try to restrict tech to certain parents but that's hard to do once it becomes mainstream. It's hard to restrict afterwards and build on human values for it to be not used as an armchair parenting device. > mom discovered porn url, flipped a bit - I calmed her down, it's not about punishing, it's about communication if needed and awareness when it's needed. I have similar views. Porn is unavoidable in some form, no matter how hard you try when they hit teens. It will be shared by friends and while you can block things in your home, you can't do it for someone else's home. I wouldn't try to block it so I can al teast notice if there is anything unhealthy in there and talk.