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I think on HN we suffer from something similar to people who visit Instagram or Facebook all the time. We see everyone's holiday photos, their successes, everyo

by robjan 7y ago

I think on HN we suffer from something similar to people who visit Instagram or Facebook all the time. We see everyone's holiday photos, their successes, everyone is doing something "meaningful" or creating the next big startup. In reality, most of us are creating CRUD applications but we wouldn't post about that because it doesn't fit into the above category. I don't have any answers to your questions but I hope it's some consolation, at least. Perhaps you can give us some additional insight about your current role, industry and experience level?

sammorrowdrums 7y ago
It's actually a novel way to think about HN as if it were Instagram or something. "Life hack: just build your own compiler, one that just gets you" "Quit your job and live off bug bounties - I did am I'm great" "Show off to everyone: how in my free time I made software that dwarfs your entire coding career" "How I work out six times a week and meditate to write better code, and why you shouldn't have had kids..." "Us mere bunch of 20 year olds just got 15M to build something cool - here's how we did it (went to MIT and were young and free enough and able to work in a shed for 3 years to polish our idea first)" I love this community, it's only in jest I comment like this, but it's true that you can't see the forest for the trees here. There are many amazing people who achieve amazing things and share them, and some incredibly smart people, but most of us are just normal, interested people working pretty normal jobs. Albeit in an industry with huge potential and decent salaries! If I could offer any advice it's to do some time at different startups that will let you work on code outside your area of expertise. Most (not all) larger companies in particular push people into quite narrow scopes because "the person who makes the most sense to do this" is usually the person who already can. Conversely many larger businesses are more stable and might give you the work life balance you need to not burn out, and to have time for side projects. Sounds like you want to make a change. Look for other opportunities that might help you grow. Reach out to a mentor, dress differently of it helps make people know you want something different. But don't stress. It's all a game, and for most the only true winning is enjoying the journey. We don't all get to build the next unicorn, or become the high paid CTO. But we can still all have amazing, enjoyable lives.
- 2-3-c 7y ago
  > But don't stress. It's all a game, and for most the only true winning is enjoying the journey. Thank you. I needed that, myself. It cannot be understated: Its all a game. I believe, its one of chance with a very strong element of skill. But, its the stress that makes one bitter. Bitterness is it`s own hell. artsyca: I second that you sound like you want a change. Perhaps you`re trying to solve the wrong problem? Like the Paradox of Hedonism, I find that these things come when one isn`t thinking of them. Best of luck, m8. I feel confident in saying that the most of us are with you.
- losthobbies 7y ago
  Thanks for writing this. I often read peoples success stories here and on Indie Hackers and feel like I should be "doing more" but then when I get home I just want to play with my kids, watch a bit of TV and rest. It's good to read that others feel the same.
- WWLink 7y ago
  lmao thank you for making my morning <3
HenryBemis 7y ago
One of the books I liked on this (Facebook/Instagram depression) was "Love your life, not theirs" by Rachel Cruze (daughter of Dave Ramsey). The problem is that someone addicted to FB/IG won't bother to read it, and someone who is not, won't need to read it.
doctor_eval 7y ago
There is a quote that I love that I have lost the source for. But it says, “one of the biggest causes of misery is the way we chronically compare our insides with other people's outsides".
- cr0sh 7y ago
  My wife has another good quote framed; I don't know who originally said it, but it's something like: "Worrying is suffering in advance." So - stop worrying about what and how other people are doing, and focus on improving yourself. Better things may or may not come from that, but worrying about whether it will or won't, will not help you one way or another, so just don't. At times, easier said than done, though.
  - doctor_eval 7y ago
    That is such a succinct and better way of something I’ve been saying to my wife and kids for years: worrying about something just makes it twice as bad. But this is way better, thanks!
zarang 7y ago
Like many others in this thread have said, it is often worth remembering the proverb: "Comparison is the thief of joy."
- naveen99 7y ago
  There is another thread on the front page right now dedicated to comparing (salaries). The Democratic Party platform is based on comparison. Maybe they should both come with a warning about possible loss of joy. Once the joy is gone, stopping comparisons doesn’t really bring it back unfortunately. And comparisons only hurt in a few individualized things. Everywhere else they show the path of incremental progress and long term strategy.
muzani 7y ago
One thing to note is that successes are often posted on Instagram/FB as a form of self-marketing. Technical skill is shown off for the same reason. Places like dev.to, Medium, LinkedIn are saturated with articles that are basically self-marketing pieces.
mrfusion 7y ago
And by some definitions HN is a social network, no?

by robjan 7y ago

sammorrowdrums 7y ago

It's actually a novel way to think about HN as if it were Instagram or something. "Life hack: just build your own compiler, one that just gets you" "Quit your job and live off bug bounties - I did am I'm great" "Show off to everyone: how in my free time I made software that dwarfs your entire coding career" "How I work out six times a week and meditate to write better code, and why you shouldn't have had kids..." "Us mere bunch of 20 year olds just got 15M to build something cool - here's how we did it (went to MIT and were young and free enough and able to work in a shed for 3 years to polish our idea first)" I love this community, it's only in jest I comment like this, but it's true that you can't see the forest for the trees here. There are many amazing people who achieve amazing things and share them, and some incredibly smart people, but most of us are just normal, interested people working pretty normal jobs. Albeit in an industry with huge potential and decent salaries! If I could offer any advice it's to do some time at different startups that will let you work on code outside your area of expertise. Most (not all) larger companies in particular push people into quite narrow scopes because "the person who makes the most sense to do this" is usually the person who already can. Conversely many larger businesses are more stable and might give you the work life balance you need to not burn out, and to have time for side projects. Sounds like you want to make a change. Look for other opportunities that might help you grow. Reach out to a mentor, dress differently of it helps make people know you want something different. But don't stress. It's all a game, and for most the only true winning is enjoying the journey. We don't all get to build the next unicorn, or become the high paid CTO. But we can still all have amazing, enjoyable lives.

2-3-c 7y ago
> But don't stress. It's all a game, and for most the only true winning is enjoying the journey. Thank you. I needed that, myself. It cannot be understated: Its all a game. I believe, its one of chance with a very strong element of skill. But, its the stress that makes one bitter. Bitterness is it`s own hell. artsyca: I second that you sound like you want a change. Perhaps you`re trying to solve the wrong problem? Like the Paradox of Hedonism, I find that these things come when one isn`t thinking of them. Best of luck, m8. I feel confident in saying that the most of us are with you.
losthobbies 7y ago
Thanks for writing this. I often read peoples success stories here and on Indie Hackers and feel like I should be "doing more" but then when I get home I just want to play with my kids, watch a bit of TV and rest. It's good to read that others feel the same.
WWLink 7y ago
lmao thank you for making my morning <3

HenryBemis 7y ago

One of the books I liked on this (Facebook/Instagram depression) was "Love your life, not theirs" by Rachel Cruze (daughter of Dave Ramsey). The problem is that someone addicted to FB/IG won't bother to read it, and someone who is not, won't need to read it.

doctor_eval 7y ago

There is a quote that I love that I have lost the source for. But it says, “one of the biggest causes of misery is the way we chronically compare our insides with other people's outsides".

cr0sh 7y ago
My wife has another good quote framed; I don't know who originally said it, but it's something like: "Worrying is suffering in advance." So - stop worrying about what and how other people are doing, and focus on improving yourself. Better things may or may not come from that, but worrying about whether it will or won't, will not help you one way or another, so just don't. At times, easier said than done, though.
- doctor_eval 7y ago
  That is such a succinct and better way of something I’ve been saying to my wife and kids for years: worrying about something just makes it twice as bad. But this is way better, thanks!

zarang 7y ago

Like many others in this thread have said, it is often worth remembering the proverb: "Comparison is the thief of joy."

naveen99 7y ago
There is another thread on the front page right now dedicated to comparing (salaries). The Democratic Party platform is based on comparison. Maybe they should both come with a warning about possible loss of joy. Once the joy is gone, stopping comparisons doesn’t really bring it back unfortunately. And comparisons only hurt in a few individualized things. Everywhere else they show the path of incremental progress and long term strategy.

muzani 7y ago

One thing to note is that successes are often posted on Instagram/FB as a form of self-marketing. Technical skill is shown off for the same reason. Places like dev.to, Medium, LinkedIn are saturated with articles that are basically self-marketing pieces.

mrfusion 7y ago

And by some definitions HN is a social network, no?