5 ms·

"On your level" just screams pretentiousness. Since when is money the measure of a man anyways?

by abnry 7y ago

deleted 7y ago
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deleted 7y ago
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bitforger 7y ago
It's not really the money, it's the level of education and ambition. I worked remotely from Mount Pleasant, Michigan for a year and had a difficult time finding anyone to talk with about things that were interesting to me. The only group on Meetups.com was "Housewives of Mount Pleasant." Friends are peers that have similar life experiences and values (and humor). Sometimes people like that are hard to find.
- tigroferoce 7y ago
  IMO when you work remote you can work from a small town OR you can move to other places if you like. For many moving is not an option because the rest of their family is in a place. There are other options other than Mount Pleasant, Michigan and the Bay area
- zorak 7y ago
  Sounds like you were looking for more of a college town vibe. Austin, Athens, Madison, etc.
  - stallmanite 7y ago
    Or Ann Arbor or East Lansing
  - ebiester 7y ago
    I'm currently in a similar situation: I'm working from a MCOL area and remote from the home office. I don't love the city, but it's a nice city for other people. (I am here because of my academic spouse - he wasn't offered a job in a technical hub.) We end up saving amazing amounts of money, relatively speaking, but our social life has been difficult to fill in. College vibe helps, but there are vast benefits to large cities and I'm certainly missing those.
- reallydontask 7y ago
  > Friends are peers that have similar life experiences and values (and humor) This is an pretty narrow definition of friendship.
  - bitforger 7y ago
    If you have a better definition, I'd like to hear it. I don't have many friends, so my definition encompasses all of them. Maybe if I had a better definition, I'd be able to make more friends.
    - david-gpu 7y ago
      A friend is somebody you know whose company you enjoy. Depending on context, it does not include members of your family.
    - reallydontask 7y ago
      I'd open up your definition: anybody instead of peers some shared experiences or some shared values and forget about humour. FWIW, I'm probably not qualified as I probably have more activity partners, or context friends, than true friends but your definition seemed incredibly limiting.
esotericn 7y ago
I'm not talking about some sort of scorecard but the fact that a lot of these low CoL areas have crushing poverty. If you want to be the one-eyed man amongst the blind, go for it, but not everyone wants that. Socioeconomic groupings exist in the metro areas too. Senior management hanging out with the workers is relatively rare. Because it's just a pain in the arse to guard yourself in every conversation and not seem like a twat lacking empathy when you talk about some benign thing you did last week.
- pasabagi 7y ago
  I don't get it. I have lots of money. I've never had any feeling I had to 'guard' myself in any conversation with people from literally any social demographic. I mean, unless you're some kind of oddball, all you're using money for is buying nicer food, more space, and more time. So nobody's going to get upset because you're eating loads of avocados, even if it did come up in conversation.
  - NotSammyHagar 7y ago
    People hating avocado toast eating wealthy millennials is a real thing.
    - lonelappde 7y ago
      No, it's a fake thing created by corporate crony politicians to misdirect public attention away from their crimes.
  - brnt 7y ago
    He was not talking about you specifically. If you have never experienced or observed stratification, then you may simply not get around much (in terms of social circles). It's not that strange, I cannot afford it either, I just made some chance acquintances, mostly through my socially far more capabele partner. Class had become the most useful criterion to distinguish groups to me. It's not about guarding oneself explicitly, or avoiding interaction, but more in happening to frequent different kinds of sports/events, having different types of interest and being able to afford those types of hobbies. You won't see a working class person drive up to the club in his jaguar old timer for a game of golf and going for a Michelin star afterwards with friends, talking over a new investment opportunity. You see what I mean?

"On your level" just screams pretentiousness. Since when is money the measure of a man anyways?

by abnry 7y ago

"On your level" just screams pretentiousness. Since when is money the measure of a man anyways?

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

bitforger 7y ago

It's not really the money, it's the level of education and ambition. I worked remotely from Mount Pleasant, Michigan for a year and had a difficult time finding anyone to talk with about things that were interesting to me. The only group on Meetups.com was "Housewives of Mount Pleasant." Friends are peers that have similar life experiences and values (and humor). Sometimes people like that are hard to find.

tigroferoce 7y ago
IMO when you work remote you can work from a small town OR you can move to other places if you like. For many moving is not an option because the rest of their family is in a place. There are other options other than Mount Pleasant, Michigan and the Bay area
zorak 7y ago
Sounds like you were looking for more of a college town vibe. Austin, Athens, Madison, etc.
- stallmanite 7y ago
  Or Ann Arbor or East Lansing
- ebiester 7y ago
  I'm currently in a similar situation: I'm working from a MCOL area and remote from the home office. I don't love the city, but it's a nice city for other people. (I am here because of my academic spouse - he wasn't offered a job in a technical hub.) We end up saving amazing amounts of money, relatively speaking, but our social life has been difficult to fill in. College vibe helps, but there are vast benefits to large cities and I'm certainly missing those.
reallydontask 7y ago
> Friends are peers that have similar life experiences and values (and humor) This is an pretty narrow definition of friendship.
- bitforger 7y ago
  If you have a better definition, I'd like to hear it. I don't have many friends, so my definition encompasses all of them. Maybe if I had a better definition, I'd be able to make more friends.
  - david-gpu 7y ago
    A friend is somebody you know whose company you enjoy. Depending on context, it does not include members of your family.
  - reallydontask 7y ago
    I'd open up your definition: anybody instead of peers some shared experiences or some shared values and forget about humour. FWIW, I'm probably not qualified as I probably have more activity partners, or context friends, than true friends but your definition seemed incredibly limiting.

esotericn 7y ago

I'm not talking about some sort of scorecard but the fact that a lot of these low CoL areas have crushing poverty. If you want to be the one-eyed man amongst the blind, go for it, but not everyone wants that. Socioeconomic groupings exist in the metro areas too. Senior management hanging out with the workers is relatively rare. Because it's just a pain in the arse to guard yourself in every conversation and not seem like a twat lacking empathy when you talk about some benign thing you did last week.

pasabagi 7y ago
I don't get it. I have lots of money. I've never had any feeling I had to 'guard' myself in any conversation with people from literally any social demographic. I mean, unless you're some kind of oddball, all you're using money for is buying nicer food, more space, and more time. So nobody's going to get upset because you're eating loads of avocados, even if it did come up in conversation.
- NotSammyHagar 7y ago
  People hating avocado toast eating wealthy millennials is a real thing.
  - lonelappde 7y ago
    No, it's a fake thing created by corporate crony politicians to misdirect public attention away from their crimes.
- brnt 7y ago
  He was not talking about you specifically. If you have never experienced or observed stratification, then you may simply not get around much (in terms of social circles). It's not that strange, I cannot afford it either, I just made some chance acquintances, mostly through my socially far more capabele partner. Class had become the most useful criterion to distinguish groups to me. It's not about guarding oneself explicitly, or avoiding interaction, but more in happening to frequent different kinds of sports/events, having different types of interest and being able to afford those types of hobbies. You won't see a working class person drive up to the club in his jaguar old timer for a game of golf and going for a Michelin star afterwards with friends, talking over a new investment opportunity. You see what I mean?