I think you pressure yourself with too many “shoulds” and expectations. Do not create such rules, you do not have to simultaneously study maths and CS, work, t

I think you pressure yourself with too many “shoulds” and expectations. Do not create such rules, you do not have to simultaneously study maths and CS, work, think of business. You do not have to struggle for the next degree dreaming that one day you will a real programmer. You already are as you write code and try to be better at it. Life is happening now, focus on living your days now: code if you like it, study your minimum to get a paper if you want to relocate. There is no goal in life, no direction, only process that you can try enjoying. Read Courage to Be Disliked. It is a good book, it may address your anxiety. Seek for someone to share your thoughts and problems, or seek how you can help people around.